1 10 7 https://thurman.pitts.emory.edu/files/original/a26f74f713964011fea634bc56d5bc19.pdf f7ba7ee5be3a60958ba2551be221519b PDF Text Text Pitts Theology Library The Howard Thurman Digital Archive Transcription thurman.pitts.emory.edu 394-759_B.mp3 And it cut into my own plans, even. [INAUDIBLE]. I was visiting a friend of mine. [INAUDIBLE] for his wife. And I never thought that they [INAUDIBLE]. Pitts Theology Library Emory University [LAUGHTER] I went. And we were talking. I said, [INAUDIBLE] keen creeping under the door-- a hint of a [INAUDIBLE] that didn't ever quite materialize. [LAUGHTER] And it [INAUDIBLE]. And it was [INAUDIBLE] war of nerves, and I couldn't concentrate on what I was talking about [INAUDIBLE] the room and see, what's wrong with that little boy. And [INAUDIBLE] kicked the blankets off. And he had his big toe in his mouth. And he was chewing his big toe and crying because it hurt. [LAUGHTER] He did not know he was on his toe. [LAUGHTER] He had no [INAUDIBLE] little body, so that you exercise the power of veto [INAUDIBLE] body. Or there can be no sense of self. [INAUDIBLE], somehow. [INAUDIBLE]. All that a man has is his life. all that a man is given is his life. In every life, there are a few special moments that count for more than all the rest, because they [INAUDIBLE] stand [INAUDIBLE] commitment [INAUDIBLE]. [INAUDIBLE] the person. It is my commitment that man [INAUDIBLE] his humanity. It is a pressing need to find meaning for one's life, to subordinate the whole of life to that meaning. It is this meaning, this inner experience, that is from God. All the theologies, all the doctrine, all the [INAUDIBLE] drawn up by men will pass. Every idea too grows old in its time. Only the true and the living God [INAUDIBLE] 1 � Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource Disciples of Christ Retreat (1971, Santa Barbara, CA) Description An account of the resource "All that a man has is his life." This is the central insight explored in the Disciples of Christ Retreat collection. Throughout these lectures, Thurman discusses the dynamics of commitment in religious experience. A person has a life, and that life must be given to something. Thurman describes commitment as life giving itself to life, which summons up energy and meaning into our private worlds, and enabling new possibilities in our outer lives. For Thurman, the process of yielding to God in our deepest place is the source of our freedom, dignity, and our capacity to love. Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource Description by Rodell Jefferson III. AudioWithTranscription Audio that is shown through the 3Play Media embedded interactive transcript Audio with Transcription <iframe width="100%" height="820" frameborder="0" src="/files/players/394-759_B.html" ></iframe> Location The location of the interview, speech, lecture, or sermon Disciples of Christ Retreat, Santa Barbara, California Original Title Title as transcribed from tape cassette Retreat Santa Barbara, lecture 1 (Santa Barbara, CA), 1971 Jul 23, Side B Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context 394-759_B Creator An entity primarily responsible for making the resource Thurman, Howard Source A related resource from which the described resource is derived <a href="http://pid.emory.edu/ark:/25593/rp8k9">MSS 394</a> Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource audio Publisher An entity responsible for making the resource available <a href="http://pitts.emory.edu/">Pitts Theology Library, Emory University</a> Title A name given to the resource Disciples of Christ Retreat, Lecture 1 (continued), 1971 July 23 Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant GEOMETRYCOLLECTION(POINT(-13326617.327544 4086542.6908485)) Description An account of the resource In this brief continuation of the first lecture, Thurman continues to talk about a sense of self through a story of his encounter with a crying boy. Investigating to see what was wrong with the boy, Thurman found that the boy was chewing his big toe and was crying because it hurt. He did know it was his own toe. Thurman says that we must grow into awareness and ownership over our bodies, and commitment of one's life is the highest expression of this. And commitment in turn brings meaning and purpose to our lives, meaning that is from God. Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource Description by Rodell Jefferson III. Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 1971-07-23 https://thurman.pitts.emory.edu/files/original/bc280439d3eb78eb643197b2a2bbb92f.pdf 77e5f81b27a149ce278834f0016f594a PDF Text Text Pitts Theology Library The Howard Thurman Digital Archive Transcription thurman.pitts.emory.edu 394-759_A.mp3 Pitts Theology Library Emory University It's a Discipline of Christ retreat, Friday, July 23, 1971, at 8:30 PM in Santa Barbara. The recorder was not hooked up to the PA system. And as a result, there are a lot of external noises. It was his first speech of the retreat. [INAUDIBLE] O Lord, thou knowest it altogether. Thou hast beset [INAUDIBLE] behind and before, and laid thine hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me. It is high. I cannot attain unto it. Wither shall I go from thy spirit? Or whither shall I flee from thy presence? If I should ascend up into heaven, thou art there. If I make my bed in hell, behold, thou art there. If I take the wings of the morning and fly to the uttermost parts of the sea, even there shall thy hand hold me. And thy right hand shall steady me. If I say, surely the darkness shall cover me, even the night shall be light about me. The darkness and the light are both alike to thee. For thou hast possessed my reins. Thou hast covered me in my mother's womb. And in thy book, all my members were written, which in continuance were fashioned, when as yet there was none of them. How precious also are thy thoughts unto me. I am still with thee. Search me, O God, and know my heart. Try me, and know my thoughts. And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. And in the background of it [? was ?] [INAUDIBLE] from [? Inward ?] [? Journey. ?] [INAUDIBLE] Is this-- [LOUD BEEPS] [LAUGHTER] [INAUDIBLE] [LAUGHTER] My general feeling tonight is all a man has is his life. All that a man is given is his life. And the part of that I want to examine tonight has to do with the general dynamics of the giving of that life to God. And here [INAUDIBLE] As you go, the shapes, the lights, the shadows of the things you have preferred will come to you invariably and [INAUDIBLE] as bee to their hives. And there in your mind and spirit, they will leave with you the distilled essence sweet as honey or bitter as gall. And you grew into their likeness because their nature would be in you. As men see the [? color ?] [? in waves, ?] so shall men see in you the thing you have loved most. In your smile and in your frown, the years will speak. You will not walk, nor stand, nor sit, nor will your hand move but you will confess the one you serve. And upon your forward will be written his name as thy [? revealing ?] [? path. ?] [? 1 �Pitts Theology Library The Howard Thurman Digital Archive Transcription thurman.pitts.emory.edu Cleverness ?] may [INAUDIBLE] words to cast a veil about you and circumspection may never sleep, yet, [INAUDIBLE] Pitts Theology Library Emory University And year after year, that face of yours, which once like a mother clean your face smooth in your baby crib, will take to it those lines and still more lines. As a [INAUDIBLE] will hold the story who does [INAUDIBLE] all the [INAUDIBLE]. And there more deep then acid etched the steal will grow the ascribed narrative of your [? natural ?] [? habit, ?] the emotions of your heart, your sense of conscience, your response to [? duty, ?] what do you think of your god, what you think of your fellow man, what you think of yourself. It will all be there. For men become like that which is not and the name thereof is written on their brows. Men have believed in Nero and Napoleon. Men have believed in Tolstoy. Some have faith in fame, and gain and [? pleasure. ?] There are men for whom self interest is the one creed and the one faith, the only one they can now understand. Violence and contempt of law as means to their ends are believed in by some men. And there are men, nations of them, who believe that if they want group territory aggrandizement, it is right and proper for them to go out with drums and guns and get them. Belief, yes. Men have their beliefs. What is it that I really and fundamentally stake my life and practice on at being the true [INAUDIBLE] substance of things. What that thing is, or what that way is, or what that practice is-- that is my belief. And according to my belief, it will be unto me. Because for better or for worse, out of a man's [? faith ?] are the issues of his life. And then one more thing. And then we'll rest a little while. In one of [INAUDIBLE] reflections he writes, "What will thy have me do? And that is do everything, and do nothing, to desire nothing, and to desire everything, to suffer without consolation, and to take comfort in the sweetest consolation. I will not say to thee, O God, I will perform the most visible acts of self-denial. I will make striking changes in my conduct. It is not for me to decide what I will do. What I will do is to listen to thee and to [? work ?] the [? dictates ?] of thy law." End of the quotation. The quality of life is also determined by that to which the individual is dedicated. If the dedication of a life is varied and diffuse, the quality [? of ?] that will be poor and weak. There is much to be said for the intensity of life focused. [INAUDIBLE] been [? developed ?] [INAUDIBLE] in your life. It may be that when another has a job that provides food, shelter, and a modicum of personal security, it will [INAUDIBLE] in such a situation for the duration of your life. Under such circumstances, it easier to accept life as being without point and purpose. 2 �Pitts Theology Library The Howard Thurman Digital Archive Transcription thurman.pitts.emory.edu One waits in pain for some great challenge to lift one out of the weary rut that slowly deepens and finally engulfs. If something could happened to me, if I had something to look forward to, all life would be so different. But for me there is nothing. And then never has been anything ever since I can remember. These are [INAUDIBLE] Pitts Theology Library Emory University Granted that the daily round is monotonous, that the personal equipment is extremely limited, that are the options are [INAUDIBLE] long [INAUDIBLE] that there is no [? thing ?] on the horizon that sounds the trumpet call to the great adventure of the high demand. Granted all of this, there is always available, to the individual, another alternative, even [INAUDIBLE] One can make an offering of the self to God. Now this is quite different from offering one's special talent, as important as that may be. It is more than offering, the of offering the self is over the limit they may be. It is to offer one's self, to put at the disposal of life, one's own life. Not merely one's needs, one's demands, one's frustrations, one's unresolved problems, but this is to say to life, here I am. I put myself at your disposal to be where I am always to do where I am with all of me. To respond to thy where I am without [INAUDIBLE] This means more than being a beautiful son or daughter or satisfied worker of anonymous [? jobs. ?] It means putting one's self at the disposal of the hours of the days of the months to feel their quality, to sense their demand, independent of what I believe, independent of what one thinks should come [INAUDIBLE] If this freedom of moment in anyone's own spirit prevented me from meaningful activity [INAUDIBLE] significant understatement of all of this without any apparent change in one's external circumstances. And that's the issue. What will thy have me do? I'm ready to do everything and to do nothing, to desire nothing, and to desire everything. And that's all I have to say. But I want to sit down. [LAUGHTER] The things that are true in any religion are to be found in that religion because the things are true- they are not true because they are found in the religion. The things that are true in any religion are to be found in that religion because the things are true. They are not true because they are found in the religion. It is not the context that determines the integrity of the content. And this means that where I find them, they are true. So that around any turn in any road anywhere under any circumstances a man may come upon the burning bush and hear a voice say, take off your shoes because the place where you are now standing is a holy place. Therefore, I want to [? think ?] with you about the dynamics of the commitment of the life in terms first of the broad, creative basis or ground of life itself. 3 �Pitts Theology Library The Howard Thurman Digital Archive Transcription thurman.pitts.emory.edu Rather than beginning initiative to think with you in terms of the commitment of life in a limited or circumscribed specifically religious or theological context. For it is my feeling that if I can locate the dynamic of commitment in the drum, the heart beat, the ebb and flow of the life passing, then in the religious context can a man make the surrender. Pitts Theology Library Emory University Instead of stretching himself out of shape, he comes to himself. And this is a very important distinction. So my first proposition on this journey is that this is the kind of world, the kind of creative order, in which where the conditions for the release of creative energy are met. The energy is release, apparently, automatically. To put it in another way, when the conditions for growth are met, then growth seems to be the inner response that life makes as [? he says, ?] yes. Now any person who plants things, [INAUDIBLE] and all the requirements for growth are met, the proper everything. Even when the moon is right. And the seed is planted then deep in the dark chambers of life, there is a great stirring. And this varying is independent of whatever may be going on in the mind of the plant. So the Master says, in describing this characteristic of the dynamics of life, that the Earth is automatic. He says, the Earth rarely thought of itself, it is automatic. That wherever the conditions are met, the thing goes to work. [INAUDIBLE] even though it's at night, and you've been traveling, and he's sort of sleeping. But just do the best you can. [LAUGHTER] I would work until I get through [INAUDIBLE] when you just take a quick one. But not a long one. You may not need it. Where the conditions are met, the energy becomes available. So there seems to be an automatic something here. And this necessarily has created many problems. And some of the difficulties I'll turn up way over in another dimension for the whole mystical aspect of religious experience, we see the sharp issues made for the [INAUDIBLE] that there must be some primary, intimate relationship between the preparation, the readying, and the coming of the spirit. And yet, when and you reflect upon the experience of your own inner life, you discover that there is no necessitous relationship-- not [INAUDIBLE] as important-- there is no necessitous relationship between the preparation, [INAUDIBLE] and the coming of the spirit. [? Well, we did that. ?] We-[LAUGHTER] [INAUDIBLE] When you read or listen to the witness of the mystics or when you examine your own inner religious experience, you discover that there is no necessitous relationship-[INAUDIBLE]-- no necessitous relationship between the preparation, the readying of the heart and the mind, and the coming of the spirit of the living God. 4 �Pitts Theology Library The Howard Thurman Digital Archive Transcription thurman.pitts.emory.edu And yet, there's always something that keeps whispering that this just can't be the [? truth. ?] The only mystic I know who's bold enough to, in one place to take a position-- and this is really an aside, but I got all in the traffic, now I might as well keep walking. [LAUGHTER] Pitts Theology Library Emory University The only mystic with whom I'm familiar who seems to be [? dealing ?] in the other direction, [INAUDIBLE] Meister Eckhart, seems to take a contrary position for. And [INAUDIBLE] at least that I remember, because if I empty myself, a creature [INAUDIBLE], then God fills me up, the spirit of God fills me up, the spirit of God [INAUDIBLE] the vacuums in my soul. And yet, you see, if it be true that there is a binding relationship between my preparation and the coming, it snatches the initiative from the spirit of the living God. And he is not waiting on the end of my sting, to jump when I pull it. How to pray and not become a pressure group on God. [LAUGHTER] Now to swing back into [INAUDIBLE] Where the conditions for growth and development are met growth seems to flow automatically so that if we [INAUDIBLE] out of that general category, into the citadel of the mind and the spirit, it would seem to indicate that when a man is be able to bring to bear all of his [? stability ?] and to [INAUDIBLE] himself utterly in absolute surrender to God, his life will be energized by God. For there is a secondary thing [INAUDIBLE] and that is that becomes of this automatic dimension and I don't pretend to know the answer but [INAUDIBLE] my [? reasoning ?] that there is something that seems almost amoral about this. Let me see. How can I put this together. If a man surrenders his life, if a man makes as fully as he's capable a total commitment to a single end, his life becomes energized. Now that's the [? principle. ?] Dare I say that even if that single end is a bad end. For maybe the same thing that causes struggles to go, [INAUDIBLE] But of course, a religious man is a man who is working at trying to become a religious man. I don't think that is possible for a man to make a finally total commitment to [? evil ?] I may be naive, but I think there's something about [INAUDIBLE] But the principle. If I can bring to bear, bring to a further focus all of the vast creative energy of [? life for ?] God, begins to move through me. Now this is so powerful in the total orientation of the personality that a person can very suddenly make a god out of commitment itself, so utterly committed that one becomes rootless, callous, insensitive, hard-hearted, unresponsive to all the [INAUDIBLE] that warm the spirit and make glad the heart. This means to make an idol of the commitment itself. And there shall be no other gods before me. Now part two. [INAUDIBLE] We're not going any place. 5 �Pitts Theology Library The Howard Thurman Digital Archive Transcription thurman.pitts.emory.edu [LAUGHTER] [INAUDIBLE] Pitts Theology Library Emory University Well, I'll open up part two. Now bear in mind where we are. First, that the things that are true in religion are to be found in religion because the things are true. They're not true because they're to found in religion. So that I'm always on the hunt for the universal principle and see what it looks like, [INAUDIBLE] And seeing it there, begin snipping it down to the place where it lives [INAUDIBLE] So that if commitment is a deal with a universal aspect of the meaning of life, then I do not think that it can make the claim on the human spirit. And where our [INAUDIBLE] this, this is [? for a ?] world where the conditions for growth and development are met, then growth and development seem to follow in this [? spot ?] automatically, as an inner process. Of course, in this sense, this is the kind of world in which the wicked do prosper. [INAUDIBLE] How long? That's another question. Just as we [INAUDIBLE] together, and as you look at them, on their way to eternity, you can't tell one from the other. [INAUDIBLE] Now, part two. There can be no commitment without a basic assumption. And that assumption is that I am me, that I have laid claim to me, that I am not an alien in my house, that I am not-- I do not seem to myself to be anonymous. I must have a sense of self. In a book written by [INAUDIBLE] my [? psychiatrist ?] in New York. He teaches at Columbia He teaches college [INAUDIBLE] And the book is called something. [LAUGHTER] But [INAUDIBLE] He says that a mother and a daughter went into-- and a son-- went into a restaurant to get lunch. And the waitress came over, and she said, what will you have? And the mother gave her order, and the daughter gave her order. Then the boy gave her order. And then she turned to the boy and said, young man, what will you have? And before he could utter a word, his mother said, oh, I'll order for him. But the waitress [INAUDIBLE] boy alone. So she said, young man, what will you have? And the daughter said, well, I know what he wants, because if mother were not here, and he and I were alone, I would order for him. But the waitress came right back. Young man, what will you have? He said, in a sort of muted utterance, a hamburger. And then catching his mood, she whispered back to him, with mustard, the pickles and ketchup, and onions, the works? And then the little soul echoed, mustard, pickles, onions, and relish. The works. So she went back. She gave the mother's order and the daughter's order. And then in a full voice she said, one hamburger, the works! And the little boy, in utter amazement, looked at his mother, and he said, Mother, she thinks I'm real! Anonymous! 6 �Pitts Theology Library The Howard Thurman Digital Archive Transcription thurman.pitts.emory.edu So that before we can talk about urging people to make the surrender of the self to God, one has major psychic and spiritual surgery must be performed so that a self can be born. The other marvelous [INAUDIBLE] in the book, where the master and his disciples were coming along the road. Pitts Theology Library Emory University And then when they made a turn in the road, they see this strange half-wild man. Crazed look in his eyes. Chains dangling from his wrists. He was possessed, they said. At a time when the moon was full, he would become so out of mind that they would chain him to the rocks, and great tidal waves of energy sweeping up from all the tides of all the waters would course through his body and would break those chains. And he'd go shrieking through the hills like an animal in pain. And when he met Jesus, Jesus looked at him. And he said to him, what's your name? Suddenly, his tainted mind wrangled for just a split second. Ah. That's it. I don't know. There are many of me, and they're rioting in my streets. I don't know which one is I. [INAUDIBLE] I can't surrender if I have no sense of self. One of the basic elements in the sense of self is I must claim my own body as mine, as my [INAUDIBLE]. I must experience my body as mine. Not as the state's. Nor my job's. My body. That is why when men wish to destroy other men, when they wish to reduce their mind and their spirits to [INAUDIBLE], one of the ancient [INAUDIBLE] insights is to put so much agonizing pressure on my body that a man may [INAUDIBLE] himself from their own body in order to bargain for a few more hours of life. And if by torture, by brutality, by violence, I can make you an alien in your own house, then I can destroy you. Destroy. In accordance with my own vanity, [INAUDIBLE] you will [INAUDIBLE]. 7 � Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource Disciples of Christ Retreat (1971, Santa Barbara, CA) Description An account of the resource "All that a man has is his life." This is the central insight explored in the Disciples of Christ Retreat collection. Throughout these lectures, Thurman discusses the dynamics of commitment in religious experience. A person has a life, and that life must be given to something. Thurman describes commitment as life giving itself to life, which summons up energy and meaning into our private worlds, and enabling new possibilities in our outer lives. For Thurman, the process of yielding to God in our deepest place is the source of our freedom, dignity, and our capacity to love. Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource Description by Rodell Jefferson III. AudioWithTranscription Audio that is shown through the 3Play Media embedded interactive transcript Audio with Transcription <iframe width="100%" height="820" frameborder="0" src="/files/players/394-759_A.html" ></iframe> Location The location of the interview, speech, lecture, or sermon Disciples of Christ Retreat, Santa Barbara, California Original Title Title as transcribed from tape cassette Retreat Santa Barbara, lecture 1 (Santa Barbara, CA), 1971 Jul 23 Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context 394-759_A Creator An entity primarily responsible for making the resource Thurman, Howard Title A name given to the resource Disciples of Christ Retreat, Lecture 1, 1971 July 23 Source A related resource from which the described resource is derived <a href="http://pid.emory.edu/ark:/25593/rp8k9">MSS 394</a> Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource audio Publisher An entity responsible for making the resource available <a href="http://pitts.emory.edu/">Pitts Theology Library, Emory University</a> Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant GEOMETRYCOLLECTION(POINT(-13326617.327544 4086542.6908485)) Description An account of the resource In this first lecture of the Disciples of Christ Retreat collection, Thurman discusses the dynamics of commitment. We are given life, but what is it that we shall give our lives to? Thurman insists that this is a question we all must eventually answer. What we stake our lives on determines the quality of our lives. Thurman says that it takes a great challenge to lift us up from the monotonous ruts we find ourselves in. Commitment to a single end energizes our lives and sparks growth in us. Such dedication can bring freedom and empowerment to our inner lives even as our external circumstances remain stagnant. It is through great commitment that we reclaim our bodies as our own, and fulfill our senses of self. Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource Description by Rodell Jefferson III. Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 1971-07-23 https://thurman.pitts.emory.edu/files/original/4d845b6970d10853a82b7a881a072681.pdf e459cbd61a74a91f09d894ebd380330a PDF Text Text Pitts Theology Library The Howard Thurman Digital Archive Transcription thurman.pitts.emory.edu 394-760_B.mp3 And this is why-- this is why in the religious journey, particularly, an effort is made to establish some other than self-reference for validating the integrity of the religious experience. Pitts Theology Library Emory University Now, the friends do it in an interesting way. As part of their, quote, "religious orientation," you have a concern. You share your concern at the meeting. And if there is a movement of the spirit that gives corroboration and confirmation to this imminent concern, which is private and personal and yet absolute and vital and perhaps even transcendent. It's private. It's [INAUDIBLE]. And confirmation to this imminent concern, which is private and personal and yet absolute and vital and perhaps even transcendent. It's private. It's [INAUDIBLE]. It's down as a failure that I'm talking about. And the approach is that if it's valid, you see, then something down in that area in you quivers at the news. And this becomes a basis for external validation. It gives a bases for an other than selfreference. And this becomes a check against my being self-perceived. And yet, this is the treatment the mind plays and the monster, because it is that you've got to prove it. You've got to prove it. And you've got to prove it externally so that there cam be some empirical validation from the inner experience I know I have. And there is something in [INAUDIBLE] that recognizes that ultimately, the validity of the commitment does not rest upon any kind of empirical validation. And yet the mind insists that some kind of empirical validation must always be sought and established. And this is the part of the dilemma of the continuing spirit. Because songs in my childhood [? have ?] [? faded ?] and since I don't have any grace, I'll take him back to the starting place. We always want validation. And we don't want to be mistaken. And I know what you think of this, and I don't want to frighten anybody and give you nightmares. But a man may lose an entire life, all the time convinced that this is the be-all and end-all for his rules and discover just before he dies, when he got there, he turned left rather than right. That's why pride and arrogance, in terms of the movement of the living God in the living life are so perilous. The only possible response of the human spirit to the pilgrimage is one of humility. I may be mistaken. But I have said yes in all ways that I know how. And perhaps, just perhaps, the results are not mine either to measure or to determine. And this sounds like anything. My responsibility. is the unity. 1 �Pitts Theology Library The Howard Thurman Digital Archive Transcription thurman.pitts.emory.edu You remember the story in the book about the man who has the estate? And he is going on a journey. And he knew he was going to over-spend. And he would need to have the money with him for when he came back. Pitts Theology Library Emory University So he called three of his most prestigious men to him. And he gave one, say, $10 and the other $5. And the other, he gave $1. And he said, now, I'm going away, only that doesn't leave much money. But you can multiply it. I said, by the way, when I come back, I want you to report. So the rule went around when he got back. And man number one came and said, you gave me $10. And here's $15.25. Good. You gave me $5. Here's $8. Excellent. Now, the only man who made a speech was the man who became a doctor. [LAUGHTER] He says, how do you know? You have a better reputation. Everybody knows that. The [INAUDIBLE]. So I buried the [INAUDIBLE]. I can watch it every day. And then I've heard that you had come back. I dug it up, and here it is intact. Then the lord of the estate has his bouncer come and throw the man out into utter darkness, with, the master says the wailing and gnashing of teeth. Why? Because he didn't make any money for him? No. From his [INAUDIBLE], because he didn't work at it. This is the only responsibility, to work at it. Result [INAUDIBLE] as much of a cop-out at that time, just somehow, he will feel that he can trust his spirit with me. And I will be a lot, so that he can breathe, breathe, breathe. [INAUDIBLE]. So go Thy way. All things say, Thy have Thy way to go. Thy hast Thy need of Thee to create in others. No other shall walk in the light that falls across Thy path. Thee [INAUDIBLE] call, as he calls others. So give Thy life. Go right away. This is all you have, your life. In my prayer, God is the healer. Do not repent with what you give through my life. 2 � Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource Disciples of Christ Retreat (1971, Santa Barbara, CA) Description An account of the resource "All that a man has is his life." This is the central insight explored in the Disciples of Christ Retreat collection. Throughout these lectures, Thurman discusses the dynamics of commitment in religious experience. A person has a life, and that life must be given to something. Thurman describes commitment as life giving itself to life, which summons up energy and meaning into our private worlds, and enabling new possibilities in our outer lives. For Thurman, the process of yielding to God in our deepest place is the source of our freedom, dignity, and our capacity to love. Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource Description by Rodell Jefferson III. AudioWithTranscription Audio that is shown through the 3Play Media embedded interactive transcript Audio with Transcription <iframe width="100%" height="820" frameborder="0" src="/files/players/394-760_B.html" ></iframe> Location The location of the interview, speech, lecture, or sermon Disciples of Christ Retreat, Santa Barbara, California Original Title Title as transcribed from tape cassette Retreat Santa Barbara, lecture 2 ((a); Santa Barbara, CA), 1971 Jul 24, Side B Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context 394-760_B Creator An entity primarily responsible for making the resource Thurman, Howard Source A related resource from which the described resource is derived <a href="http://pid.emory.edu/ark:/25593/rp8k9">MSS 394</a> Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource audio Publisher An entity responsible for making the resource available <a href="http://pitts.emory.edu/">Pitts Theology Library, Emory University</a> Title A name given to the resource Disciples of Christ Retreat, Lecture 2 (continued), 1971 July 24 Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant GEOMETRYCOLLECTION(POINT(-13326617.327544 4086542.6908485)) Description An account of the resource This is a continuation of the second lecture in the Disciples of Christ Retreat collection. Here, Thurman discusses the possibility of self-deception in religious experience. Even in the private world of the inner life, one must seek out validation. With faith and commitment comes a measure of risk, and thus the mind does not want to be mistaken. Thurman says that pride and arrogance are especially perilous in terms of the movement of the living God. Humility is the proper response to God's movement in our lives, rather than certainty and rigidity. Thurman ends saying that our responsibility is not the results of our commitment, but rather the working at, regardless of result. Our responsibility is the unity of heart and mind dedicated to the purposes of God. Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource Description by Rodell Jefferson III. Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 1971-07-24 https://thurman.pitts.emory.edu/files/original/05ccf231adfe19bf392c402b3033ff24.pdf 8efe594677ccf7b2b6d280ec33cb57f4 PDF Text Text Pitts Theology Library The Howard Thurman Digital Archive Transcription thurman.pitts.emory.edu 394-760_A.mp3 Pitts Theology Library Emory University God, oh, come of His above, where Jesus knelt to share with Thee the silence of eternity, interpreted by love. Drop Thy still dues of quietness till all our striving cease. Take from our souls the strain and stress. And let our ordered lives confess the beauty of Thy peace. Amen. Whenever and wherever it is, that moment in which any man's souls move to recover its accord with God, golden it is, if only because of all moments in a man's day, it indeed does mean most genuine and rewarding wealth to him. All that mankind agrees upon as being most worth living for and with comes out of it. Occurring and recurring in the noisy hours of the driven day or in the quiet night, as one run or walks or stands or sits, this moment, of all moments known to human life, is the moment most gilded by life's rising sun, the moment in which the human spirit uplifts itself, inquiring after unity with God. Is it so that to be strong at the circumference, a man must be strong at the center? But if one is poisoned at the center or weak or at war there, he will hardly find peace, strength, or pleasantness at the circumference, that he may masquerade and keep up appearances. But he himself will deeply know that in business and in play and all life's occupations and durations and his points of view and in his emotional reactions to people and events, things are wrong. Is all this so when a man is weak at the center? Then return unto thy rest, oh, my soul. And leave the weakening war of thy fragments for the wholeness that is in God. Said he not "be whole, for I am whole?" Is it not written, "Ye are complete in him"? Lift up thy thought, therefore, oh, my soul to Him who is thy central primary help and vigor. And bring thyself again with intelligence and with will into conscious and confident accord with Him. There rest thee and thee strong. I thought he asks too much in asking all. No man, he said, having put his hand to the plow and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God, no divided interest, war at personality's center. There is much learned talk of this. A man becomes inwardly torn between his ideals and his practices, between his ambition and his duty, between what he ought to do and what he wants to do. He tries to end the miserable conflict by rationalizing wrong into right or by making right out to be an obsolescence or else by pushing the whole thing out of consciousness and refusing to think about it. But he cannot escape from himself like that. Deep down, we are sure he knows. He has not cured the division. He has only silenced it speaking. Or perhaps more truly, he has not silenced anything. He has only put his hands over his ears, that he may not hear. The war storms on, but he declines to listen. He smiles and whispers and jokes and tries to cover up the sad truth that he has become cloven into hospital camps, at war with himself, pulled two ways or many ways, self-damned. 1 �Pitts Theology Library The Howard Thurman Digital Archive Transcription thurman.pitts.emory.edu Man's very nerves break down with this more than with any other thing. And what is the cure thereaft but to become complete in all the will of God. Oh, unite my heart to feel Thy name. Make me unanimous within, less like a house divided against itself and unable to stand. Pitts Theology Library Emory University I beseemed before my soul's enemy and thine the conquering marvel of his ascendant mind and heart and spirit to draw and compel me like a lodestone, pearl beyond price, desire of ages. Ah, this vulnerable, temporizing, and uncertain heart of mine, fatally weak because scattered in its love, fatally weak because scattered in its love. Sing your own song. Out of yesterday, song comes. It goes into tomorrow. Sing your own song. With your life, fashion, beauty, this, too, is the song. Riches will pass and power. Beauty remains. Sing your own song. All that is worth doing, do well, said the river. Sing your own song. Certain and round be the measure. Every line, be graceful and true. Time is the mold, time the weaver, time the carver. Time and the work blend together. Sing your own song. Sing well, said the river. Sing well. And then one more thing-- two more things. All night, the fury of contending will raged in my head, until my bed seemed the tormented world that devils fill with anguish mixed and hungry violence. I waited for the day with muted sense, too dry to weep. Even my terror is dumb, as if while body waked, spirit were numb. At last, as though I lay upon a hill above a valley choked by [INAUDIBLE] thorn, trackless and dark. I saw a spark strike down from heaven, whence a dream was born, which, flowing from the zenith to the sea, fierce and unswerving as the zeal of saints, had yet the saint's reserved tranquility and gave to Earth its genius unconfined, the soundless passion of a single mind, the soundless passion of a single mind. Now, go thy way, all things say. Thou hast thy way to go. Thous hast thy day to live. Thou hast thy need of thee to make in the heart of others. Do thy thing, and be thou sure of this. No other can do for thee that appointed thee of God. Not any light shall fall upon thy road or other eyes. Thee, the angel calls. And he calls others. And thy life to thee is precious as the greatest life can be to him. So live thy life, and go thy way. All that I have is my life. All that any man has is his life. There is a profound ground of vitality that supports and sustains and underwrites, that grounds all living things. And the process or the mechanism-- no, that's not right. The way by which all living things are sustained by life is by their being true to the edict of life that manifests itself in them. 2 �Pitts Theology Library The Howard Thurman Digital Archive Transcription thurman.pitts.emory.edu The manifestation, in terms of the behavior of any form of life, is to be seen in the way in which inherent in any expression of life is the equality-- I guess is the word-- is a sensitivity to that which nourishes it, nourishes it. Pitts Theology Library Emory University And in this sense, you see, all life is goal-seeking, not in a metaphysical sense. I mean even in the technical, the metaphysical in the technical sense, not metaphysical particularly in the California sense. [LAUGHTER] Or theologically, but goal-seeking in the sense of snipping out and searching out, ferreting out to find the thing that can nourish it, can sustain it, can underwrite it, can guarantee its continuity. Now, this is characteristic of life, wherever you see it. Why is it that in your living room where you have your plants, you don't have to tell them from what direction the sun comes? They find it. There is a built-in agency. I went out in front of my house one day when I lived in Ohio. And the men were digging a hole, a long ditch in front, trying to get to the pipes of the sewer. And I watched them for a while. And when they got down there, they uncovered about two joints, a pipe. And you could not see the pipe, because the pipes were covered with a mass of roots. And then one of the workmen took his thing and broke a joint. And when the clay or whatever that stuff's made of fell apart, there was revealed inside this joint just a thick mass of roots, so that it had brought the water traffic in the pipes. And the roots came from a tree from 500 feet on the lower part of our lot. These roots had scented out the water and had funneled it all the way under the basement of our house and found it. It is the nature of life to seek nourishment. And-- no, no, no. When life is brought face to face with that which nourishes it, it has to conform to whatever the eating etiquette is. It has to meet the conditions. So I'm back where I was last night. When this principle is lifted into self-consciousness, embraced by the intent of the mind and the grasp of the will so that this automatic principle becomes a part of the self-conscious activity of the personality, then the same energizing thing results. So if I place at the disposal of a single end all of my powers of being, then my life becomes energized and reinforced, vitalized. Now, in terms of the Christian commitment now, when I make a surrender of my life to God, when I yield the nerve center of my consent, down at that quiet please, where there is no traffic, only the silent pulsing of the core of me, there is where a man says yes or no. And it holds. It holds. 3 �Pitts Theology Library The Howard Thurman Digital Archive Transcription thurman.pitts.emory.edu Now, all right. This presupposes that I am sufficiently intact to be able to locate that center in me so that I can say yes. So I must have a sense of me, a sense of self and as I'm thinking of it this morning, a sense of my meanness-- not my meanness-- a sense of my mean-ness. Pitts Theology Library Emory University And there, I discussed it last night. I was working for a little on the idea that there can be no sense of self if I cannot experience my own body, if I am an alien in my own house, if I have no sense of a dwelling place, if, for one reason or another, because of circumstances over which I am unable to exercise any control or circumstances that are the result of the relentless logic of the life I have lived-- I need not quibble over the how. The fact that people [INAUDIBLE] in this [INAUDIBLE]. Then I can't get a standing place for myself. I can't get a standing place for myself. Now, [INAUDIBLE] sense of self-- now, we're moving on. We've even started wandering around that [INAUDIBLE]. There can be, as it would seem to me, no sense of self where there is the inability to experience my own mind as my mind. Weak as it may be, anything you may say about it, but I will not abdicate it, to experience my own mind, to feel my mind pass through me and taste it, taste it, so that here and there, I have a sense. To mix the figure, I have a sense of speaking with my own problem, of thinking my own thoughts, to put it another way. Now, that does not mean that a man is creating thoughts that have never been thought before or that he's thinking thoughts that have never been thought before. But he's claiming. He's staking out his territory. He is establishing equity, his private equity, in thoughts. And perhaps these are all original ideas, just to digress for a minute. It may be that there are only two or three fundamental ideas in existence, anyway. And creative thinking may be just establishing your own equity in thoughts, so that they pass through you. Well, if I were applying to myself, I sermonize them. And this is what I am saying. And this is why it is such a terrible thing to cut the ground out from under a person, in this regard. That's why I shudder each time that I read in the Book that the Master's family, in order to make it a little easy in his adjustment to the opposition and some of the ambivalences in his environment as the sharpness of their conflict began to smooth him. And his mother must have thought of this or maybe his older brother. I don't know, but somebody said to his enemies who were-- well, who were being enemies-- don't pay too much attention to him. He's a little crazy-- not raving, but his mind is just tilting. It's off-balance. To stifle, to crush this recepting of laying claim to one's own mind as one's own mind, I carry this because it is so important and so crucial to our time. And this is why discipline of a certain kind is so important in the growing and unfolding of minds. How do you establish a sense of the integrity of your own process? Constantly, you must mindlessly put up with something that won't yield, that'll fold. 4 �Pitts Theology Library The Howard Thurman Digital Archive Transcription thurman.pitts.emory.edu And little children see this. They keep putting the pressure. And those of us who have forgotten to remember, the mother thinks that the child is just showing them the streak in his father. [LAUGHTER] Pitts Theology Library Emory University But what the child is trying to do is to get a sense of the private, intimate personal integrity of his self as defined by his being structured as to his mind, for if he puts his pressure and the pressure holds, then he has a chance to define himself. And we grow up-- retire with this for another minute. Sometimes, we grow up all the way with no confidence in the integrity of our own thoughts. I remember years ago when I was in seminary, I went out to a little town in western New York to speak at a men's Saturday evening banquet of some sort. And there was one man in that church and evidently the most prestigious man in the community, I suppose. But he was in the church. And he sat at the head of the table, and the minister found his place in relation to that head. [LAUGHTER] And whenever in the course of talking that night, if I gave an illustration that had just a touch of humor in it, all eyes pointed to him. No [INAUDIBLE]. It's like the things that are told in Clemenceau's father's biography. He was a great French surgeon and so completely it that he wore out two braces of horses a year. He sat in the dining table on a raised platform so he could look down at his wife and his children. And in his will, he insisted that he should be buried with his shoes on, standing up in his coffin and the coffin [INAUDIBLE]. [LAUGHTER] Now, if I have no sense of being in possession of my own mind I don't know what part of it is present when I offer it to God, the part that is my mother or my father. Which mind? Now, when I make the surrender of this life which is mine, all that I have, when I kneel, the nerve center of my senses to God, which is the evidence of the religious commitment, several things follow from this-- or as many of them as we can get to. First, at the center of my life, I have a sense-- no, that's wrong. I have a basement for the indignation of my life. I have a point of referral, a vital, living point of referral which is in me the movement of the wheel and the spirit and the preferences of God so that I can always tell when I am doing violence to Him. More and more, as His light began to unfold itself through all the levels of my being, that is a rising judgment on the behavior of my life. I began to feel the strangeness of the territory. But I knew a way from the sense of His presence that my commitment yields. 5 �Pitts Theology Library The Howard Thurman Digital Archive Transcription thurman.pitts.emory.edu At that point, I may not know why this has happened. But I began to-- how do I put it? I began to feel barren. Now, there's a difference between that feeling of barrenness and the feeling of dryness that's a part of the spiritual journey. That's another aspect, but I'm not talking about that. Pitts Theology Library Emory University Now, when I have made this, when I have made this yielding, and sometimes, I think that it is God in me saying yes to God that's the nerve center of consent, the yielding. The words aren't any good for us to say. It seemed that there's something that I brought myself to the point of focus, and I yield. I say yes way inside, deep inside. And the anatomy of that process-- things that I'm just starting. But it may be that being committed is God's response to himself in me and elevating. So what I'm saying is that when I have a sense of my own self, there seem to be a lot of ways by which the way you clear for God and me and God and the great vat of existence, lumped together as the great God of life, can get together in me. Now, I can't stop looking at your arm-- kind of [INAUDIBLE], I know. Now, it is important to remember that in all of this, I may be mistaken. Now, please hear me. Please. There is no viable guarantee that's a part of the human situation or predicament or objective that can protect the individual himself from self-deception. I may be wrong. And this is why-- 6 � Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource Disciples of Christ Retreat (1971, Santa Barbara, CA) Description An account of the resource "All that a man has is his life." This is the central insight explored in the Disciples of Christ Retreat collection. Throughout these lectures, Thurman discusses the dynamics of commitment in religious experience. A person has a life, and that life must be given to something. Thurman describes commitment as life giving itself to life, which summons up energy and meaning into our private worlds, and enabling new possibilities in our outer lives. For Thurman, the process of yielding to God in our deepest place is the source of our freedom, dignity, and our capacity to love. Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource Description by Rodell Jefferson III. AudioWithTranscription Audio that is shown through the 3Play Media embedded interactive transcript Audio with Transcription <iframe width="100%" height="820" frameborder="0" src="/files/players/394-760_A.html" ></iframe> Location The location of the interview, speech, lecture, or sermon Disciples of Christ Retreat, Santa Barbara, California Original Title Title as transcribed from tape cassette Retreat Santa Barbara, lecture 2 ((a); Santa Barbara, CA), 1971 Jul 24 Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context 394-760_A Creator An entity primarily responsible for making the resource Thurman, Howard Title A name given to the resource Disciples of Christ Retreat, Lecture 2, 1971 July 24 Source A related resource from which the described resource is derived <a href="http://pid.emory.edu/ark:/25593/rp8k9">MSS 394</a> Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource audio Publisher An entity responsible for making the resource available <a href="http://pitts.emory.edu/">Pitts Theology Library, Emory University</a> Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant GEOMETRYCOLLECTION(POINT(-13326617.327544 4086542.6908485)) Description An account of the resource Thurman continues his discussion on the dynamics of commitment in this second lecture of the Disciples of Christ Retreat collection. Thurman begins with a number of readings that allude to the ways in which we often find our hearts and minds divided, and how commitment at our very center might bring unity and wholeness to our lives. In resonance with the first lecture, Thurman says that there can be no sense of self if we cannot experience our minds as our own minds. We must have confidence in the integrity of our own thoughts. Surrender and commitment to God is process by which one gives a yes in one's deepest place – a decision that cannot belong to anyone else. By giving ourselves to God in this way our lives are returned to us and reclaimed from the self-alienation that we once suffered. Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource Description by Rodell Jefferson III. Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 1971-07-24 https://thurman.pitts.emory.edu/files/original/aa047e746123ed7e50ae7aa468fad3ac.pdf f4534ee1936be61254db8d0a7a2c8c10 PDF Text Text Pitts Theology Library The Howard Thurman Digital Archive Transcription thurman.pitts.emory.edu 394-761_B.mp3 Pitts Theology Library Emory University But I must feed it with the living stuff of my living days. This is what I'm saying. And now one more little word. It is for this reason, it seems to me, that I am constantly seeking strength, endurance, and I may fail again and again and again and again and again. But always against that failure, something keeps pushing, pushing, pushing, so that at last, one of the great insights that on occasion visits the human spirit that sometimes there is a radical distinction between failure on the one hand and being mistaken on the other. I may fail again and again and again and again. And at the same time, find my spirit renewed, because I am not mistaken in the thing that I am undertaking to express. So always I lay bare my life to God without pretension, without alibis, here it is. Work over me. Knead me. Brood over me. Energize me. Judge me. But hold me, hold me, hold me. And it may be that at last my life can say one thing and be one thing. All that I have is my life. Oh, make me unanimous in thy spirit, lest my soul perishes and all the lights go out on my journey. Thou who builds the nest for the bird that has lost its sight, build thou for me for I too am blind, blind. 1 � Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource Disciples of Christ Retreat (1971, Santa Barbara, CA) Description An account of the resource "All that a man has is his life." This is the central insight explored in the Disciples of Christ Retreat collection. Throughout these lectures, Thurman discusses the dynamics of commitment in religious experience. A person has a life, and that life must be given to something. Thurman describes commitment as life giving itself to life, which summons up energy and meaning into our private worlds, and enabling new possibilities in our outer lives. For Thurman, the process of yielding to God in our deepest place is the source of our freedom, dignity, and our capacity to love. Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource Description by Rodell Jefferson III. AudioWithTranscription Audio that is shown through the 3Play Media embedded interactive transcript Audio with Transcription <iframe width="100%" height="820" frameborder="0" src="/files/players/394-761_B.html" ></iframe> Location The location of the interview, speech, lecture, or sermon Disciples of Christ Retreat, Santa Barbara, California Original Title Title as transcribed from tape cassette Retreat Santa Barbara, lecture 3 ((b); Santa Barbara, CA), 1971 Jul 24, Side B Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context 394-761_B Creator An entity primarily responsible for making the resource Thurman, Howard Source A related resource from which the described resource is derived <a href="http://pid.emory.edu/ark:/25593/rp8k9">MSS 394</a> Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource audio Publisher An entity responsible for making the resource available <a href="http://pitts.emory.edu/">Pitts Theology Library, Emory University</a> Title A name given to the resource Disciples of Christ Retreat, Lecture 3 (continued), 1971 July 24 Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant GEOMETRYCOLLECTION(POINT(-13326617.327544 4086542.6908485)) Description An account of the resource This is the final few minutes of the third lecture in this collection. Thurman says that commitment must be fed by the "living stuff of my living days," by outer life experiences and encounters, as opposed to solely quiet prayer and meditation. Furthermore, Thurman says that one can fail again and again in their commitments and still find renewal if the commitment is felt to be genuine and of God. Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource Description by Rodell Jefferson III. Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 1971-07-24 https://thurman.pitts.emory.edu/files/original/9953f528365edfefd734543424f9618b.pdf 387a97be7df6ddbe34b9dda41b35114f PDF Text Text Pitts Theology Library The Howard Thurman Digital Archive Transcription thurman.pitts.emory.edu 394-761_A.mp3 The following is Howard Thurman's third lecture at the Disciplines of Christ Retreat. It was held Saturday, July 24 at 8 PM in Santa Barbara in 1971. Pitts Theology Library Emory University Behold I will lay me a hold on the greatness of God. It is so very good our Father to lay bare before thee all of the subtleties and the obvious things in our life. There is so much we do not understand. So much that brings distraught to the spirit, confusion to the mind, and great ache to the heart. We do not know what to say to thee. Out of thy long experience with all the generations of thy children, out of the great brooding heart, grace us with what we need in order that in the things that we think and the things that we feel, in the things that we do, we shall not shame thee, O God. Oh love of God, love of God. Life does not grow more simple with the passing years, but it's deeper needs are unchanging. The secret of peace is not to be sought at the end of the road, but in the spirit in which we journey. It is to be sought in the consciousness of the sustaining love of a God who is committed to a real participation in all our strife, who does not release us from the battle, but who shares the fight, who does not set us free from the possibility of pain and tears, but who feels the hurt of our wounds, the salt bitterness of our sorrow, who spends himself not only with us, but for us, and in the travel of redemptive passion anticipates the victories of the spirit. We are never to forget that we are also tied up in one bundle that peace and reconciliation in which others are not involved are quite impossible. The note of service must be deepened. And in our care for those who lie wounded or broken along the road, we shall forget our wounds and our own wearinesses, so conceived, so reinforced. Life is never impossible but does indeed become an adventure whose greatness is its own best justification and whose difficulties may become for the faithful and discerning but stares of assent to radiant and triumphant regions. And then this from the-- Bernard Shaw's play, Androcles and the Lion. The Captain says to Lavinia, what you are facing is certain death. You have nothing left now but your faith and this craze of yours, this Christianity. Are your Christian fairy stories any truer that our stories about Jupiter and Diana? Lavinia. A man cannot die for a story and a dream. None of us believe the dreams and stories more devoutly than Spintho, but he could not face the great reality. What he would have called my faith has been oozing away minute by minute whilst I have been sitting here, with reality becoming more and more real, with stories and dreams fading away into nothing. Then, said the Captain, are you then going to die for nothing? Yes. That is a wonderful thing. It is since all the stories and dreams have gone that I have now no doubt that all-- at all and that I must die for something greater than dreams and greater than stories. 1 �Pitts Theology Library The Howard Thurman Digital Archive Transcription thurman.pitts.emory.edu But for what, I don't know. If it were for anything small enough to know, it will be too small to die for. I think I am going to die for God. Nothing else is really enough to die for. What is God, said the Captain? Ah. When we know that, Captain, we shall be gods ourselves. And two other things. Pitts Theology Library Emory University I think I see you somewhat Galilean. Have I then seen God, the Master of the hand? Is this the music and the score? Then verily does God appear like unto pity, pursuing a wanderer into far mountains. He is as broad shoulders passing up bearingly under the lost. As a quickening benevolence is He, like sun and rain falling upon the evil and the good. He is as the mystery of growing grain, as unpredictable as wind is God, yet is He as present as holiness and a prayer, winsome as beauty and a lily, as innocence and a child, sure as a strengthening in Gethsemane. Terrible too, as a rock that breaks and brings to dust what it descends upon. Who collides with justice or truth collides with God, though his thread is muffled as the spreading ferment. And though, yet with his foot, he trips the devil and brings him falling as lightning from heaven. Truth seeker is God, pruning the stem for a better berry. Banquet spreader is God, summoning all to His bounty. Father of love is He, stricken for a lost son. I am musing on you Galilean. These are your words. You make God a buried treasure to be ardently digged for, yes? Though a man must sell all else that he has that he may find, you make this finding the joy of the world. You make God the safeguard of sanity and the correcter of balance in a crazed and tilted place. Though all others forsake you, your Father remains, and your world is full. He is the spirit of eternal life. You speak with Him in secret closets. You walk with Him on starry trysts. You see Him in the heart that grieves for its sin and in the breath of goodness that finds a spark of virtue in the slope and fans it to a flame. Such was your guard, Galilean. And for Him, you are ready to die. Even in dying, you still believe that had you preferred your life and lost this God, you should have lost your life and lost the living soul from your rich world and remained poor and unprofitted though all the kingdoms of the world had been added to you. And now one more, and then we'll go to work. To him that waits, all things reveal themselves provided that he has the courage not to deny in the darkness what he has seen in the light. Waiting is a window opening on many landscapes. For some, waiting means the cessation of all activity when energy is gone and exhaustion is all that the heart can manage. It is a long, slow panting of the spirit. There is no will to will. There is no hope, but hope-- not hopelessness. There is no sense of anticipation or even awareness of a loss of hope. Perhaps even the memory of function itself has faded. There is now and before. There is no after. 2 �Pitts Theology Library The Howard Thurman Digital Archive Transcription thurman.pitts.emory.edu For some, waiting is a time of intense preparation for the next leg of the journey. Here at last comes a moment when forces can be realigned and a new attack upon an old problem can be set in order. Or it may be a time of reassessment of all plans and of checking past failures against present insight. It may be the moment of the long look ahead when the landscape stretches far in many directions and the chance to select one's way among many choices cannot be denied. Pitts Theology Library Emory University For some, waiting is a sense of disaster of the soul. It is what Francis Thompson suggests in the line, naked I wait Thy love's uplifted stroke! The last hiding place has been abandoned because even the idea of escape is without meaning. Here is no fear, no panic, only the sheer excruciation of utter disaster. It is a kind of emotional blackout in the final moment before the crash. It is the passage through the Zone of Treacherous Quiet. For many, waiting is something more than all of this. It is the experience of recovering balance when catapulted from one's place. It is the quiet forming of a pattern of recollection in which there is called into focus the fragmentary values from myriad encounters of many kinds in a lifetime of living. It is to watch a gathering darkness until all light is swallowed up completely without the power to interfere or bring a halt. Then to continue one's journey in the darkness with one's footsteps guided by the illumination of remembered radiance. This is to know courage of a peculiar kind, the courage to demand that light continue to be light even in the darkness. All that a man has is his life. All that you have is your life. An understanding and the acceptance of the acceptance of this fact is the heart of commitment. Now to pick up where we left off, approximately. [LAUGHTER] Once the individual has made the nerve center of his consent over to God, yielded it to God, then things begin to happen. It is very difficult to do this. For it means-- it meaning to do this-- means to give up the initiative over your life. Once this happens, a man is not his own, and we spend a lifetime trying to carve out our own place. The journey that each of us has taken in an effort finally to be able to say with a reference to something I did it. I think that's one of the reasons why we keep alive the Washington-- George Washington cherry tree myth. It's a gentle reminder. And some of this lives throughout our lives without ever our being able to affirm this. And to achieve it is no ordinary feat-- no ordinary achievement, to be redundant. And now commitment insists you see that the very essence of what is involved in the achievement of this sense of inner authority, that this must be yielded. And despite all of the things we say and all the warm feelings that we may have and the reverential moods that sweep our spirits at times, there's something back in our minds and hearts moving around like a rumor, that even God cannot be trusted with the power of people and certification over our private lives. Because He just might take a chance with my life that I do not have in mind. 3 �Pitts Theology Library The Howard Thurman Digital Archive Transcription thurman.pitts.emory.edu [LAUGHTER] So if I yield, I want to always be-- I want always to be able to whisper in His ear or nudge him on the elbow and say this is my life you're dealing with. Pitts Theology Library Emory University [LAUGHTER] In Jane Steger's book that I've been reading from, Leaves from a Secret Journal, she has a very marvelous section in with she wrestles with this problem in her own private religious life, and there came a time when at last she yielded the nerve center of her consent and waited. And God told her, clean out your bureau drawers and keep them clean. [LAUGHTER] And she discovered that when she did this and kept them that way her whole life was transformed. She had noticed. I yield it, and I snatch it back. I yield it, and I snatch it back. As an Augustine famous prayer that's quoted out of the context, and I'm doing it again. [LAUGHTER] God, make me a pure man, but not yet. [LAUGHTER] I have unfinished business. [LAUGHTER] No. Therefore you see, I am always yielding the nerve center of my consent. I do not-- I do not ever finish it because all the time I am making the most radical discoveries about vast reaches of my own life that haven't heard about it. [LAUGHTER] Haven't heard about it. So then, it is important to remember in our thinking about commitment, in light of the theme, that the work is not over when I yield, when I say yes. Even saying yes with all of my passionate endeavor because I am such a complex person, you are very complex. And even after we have made the central commitments, we must carry the word to the backwoods in our lives, where all communication has been down for a long time. And when I run into a new experience of some sort, or deepen my relationship with another human being, or encounter some other raw edges of the very impersonal aspects of life by which I am surrounded, I discover things in me that I didn't know were there until I hit this situation. And to my amazement I find something turning up in me asking for an audience, and I didn't even know I had it. 4 �Pitts Theology Library The Howard Thurman Digital Archive Transcription thurman.pitts.emory.edu And this has to be done over, and over, again. I must, I must say this. I must make the opening larger and larger so that there will be enough of creative uprush of the spirit of the living God through the opening of my yielding that it floods more and more the barren places of my life. Pitts Theology Library Emory University There's a doggerel. It's hardly a poem. And I can't quote it, but I can describe it. About a dachshund dog, you know those long sausage dogs. [LAUGHTER] He met a man, and he was barking furiously, eyes slashing, ears up, hackles rising for the attack, while his tail was just wagging in a very friendly way because his tail just then was registering a good emotion he had two weeks before. [LAUGHTER] Now-- now this is what I'm saying. [LAUGHTER] When we're stripped of our pretensions and when we are reduced to the literal substance of the self, it's a lifetime journey for the vote to be inclusive. A lifetime journey. So I cannot understand commitment to God separated from a life of prayer. Now, part two. My behavior. My behavior has a very direct bearing on the way in which I desensitize, or quarantine, that's better. Quarantine the yielding of my heart, as we say. But what I am saying the nerve center of my consent to God. Attitudes are very important. This may sound very much like a Sunday School discussion at this point, but be that as it may. If I, in the way I live, in the details of my living, if I act in violation of what is the clear insight derived from my inner commitment, a very interesting thing begins to happen to me. My sense of commitment becomes increasingly remote. Let's just put a window there so you can see exactly what's in my mind. When I was a boy, my mother and I had an agreement, and that was that I would not shoot marbles for keeps. It was mutual consent. The whole thing was aboveboard and full of cooperation. I had-- I had two sisters who found always rather unusual uses for my marbles, and every time I went to my cigar box, in which I kept my marbles-- most of the time it was empty-and I don't know what they did with them, but they did something with them. And then one day, when I needed marbles and I didn't have any, and then I remembered a certain boy in my town. And there's one in every town, at least one, whose parents are pretty well established, and they're able to provide him with all of the tools for enjoying himself. But he doesn't have many skills. [LAUGHTER] He always has a ball and a bat and a mitt. [INAUDIBLE] but he can't play ball very well. So he gets the chance to play ball by letting the other boys use his utensils, or his 5 �Pitts Theology Library The Howard Thurman Digital Archive Transcription thurman.pitts.emory.edu tools, or the equipment. And the same with marbles. Now, this particular boy, everyday at noon came down past the corner of the street on which I live, going to his father's-- to take his father's lunch to the icehouse. Pitts Theology Library Emory University His father was a stationary engineer there, and so I walked out of the yard without any announcement and waited for him up on the corner. And then he came back from the icehouse. I said, Pierce, would you like to play marbles? And he said, oh yes, I would. And I said, well I don't have any. I'll have to borrow some from you. So I borrowed some marbles from him, and we played marbles. Played marbles for keeps. And then, I had quite a-- I had quite a nice collection which happened to be all that he had. [LAUGHTER] And then-- and then I went home. And when my mother heard my footsteps on the back porch, she called me, and time stood still. [LAUGHTER] And then great was my relief when she only wanted me to do an errand. Every time I looked at her however, she was looking at me. One day, two days, three days. A;ways those eyes. [LAUGHTER] And so I couldn't stand this. And I went to her to tell her the whole thing, and she was hearing about it for the first time. This is a very subtle thing. The way in which the light of God to mix the figure generated in the very core of one's being as the life yields. The way in which this light is dimmed is if he puts His cask over by my doing what deep within me I recognize as being against the light. It's so commonplace and yet so perilous. If a man calls a good thing bad, the master says, the time will come when he isn't able longer to discriminate. I referred this morning or one time since I've been here to the account in which the master's family said that he should be excused because he was a little off. But when the official representatives of his synagogues or the temple heard this, they said, he's all right as to his mind, but he is full of the devil. And it is by the power of the devil that he cast out devils. Do you remember the incident? And Jesus said, you do not talk as men who were very wise, very smart. A house divided against itself cannot stand. If you say that I am casting out devils by the power of the devil, you will commit what? The sin unpardonable. You will sin against the Holy Spirit, the Spirit of truth. For it means that if you do this, you will be unable to discriminate. You see, everybody is born, as a gift a personality, with a sense of value. This is-- this is the context, the value context, in which we live and think. Now, when there is this spiritual regeneration of which I am speaking, this places into this, what I will call valuation of consciousness, a new and fresh and creative dimension. 6 �Pitts Theology Library The Howard Thurman Digital Archive Transcription thurman.pitts.emory.edu And the more and more of my life must be brought under the influence, the judgment, the domination, the control of this central thing. It is a familiar theme in the literature and the thinking of people who are concerned about the behavior of human beings in the light of some central overwhelming commitment. Do you remember in-- do you remember Macbeth? Pitts Theology Library Emory University It is there, just the case in point. Macbeth had the idea that he was going to be a man of destiny. As a matter of fact, the witches told him so. And they convinced him. And then he convinced Lady Macbeth. And together they swam across Scotland in seas of blood tying laurels on their blouse with other people's lives and other people's heart strings until at last, Macbeth was the first man of the land and Lady Macbeth was the first lady. And one by one their friends disappeared or were liquidated. Their enemies multiplied. And Lady Macbeth became diseased as to her mind, you remember. Walking in her sleep, always trying to wash blood from her hands that was not on hands. It was the color of her soul. And then at a critical moment in his life, the word comes to Macbeth saying, your wife is dead. And do you remember what he said? She should have died hereafter. There would have been a time for such a word. Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow creeps in the petty pace from day to day, down to the last syllable of recorded time. And all our yesterdays have lighted fools there way to dusty death. Out, out brief candle. Life is but a walking shadow, a poor player that struts and frets his hour upon the stage and then is heard no more. It's a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing. Well it was. Life, a tale told by a fool having no meaning because at this central core, where all of his values lived or died, he had disintegrated. When I Violate my commitment, with all of the extenuating circumstances, I begin to imperil my soul. Even when I think that the extenuating circumstance will justify it, my commitment doesn't know anything about an extenuating circumstance. Only I knew it. And then I do-- then I bring God in to help me. You remember in the old part of the book when this King, the heathen King. I don't like to use that word, but when that King had his right hand man, who was converted to the God of Israel. And he was the King's right hand man. He now had the commitment. The King did not have the commitment. His duties, as the right hand man of the King, meant that he must go with the King into the house of Rimmon and bow before the altar. And he prays to God. When I go into the house of Rimmon, and the King is leaning on my arm, and he bows before the altar of his heathen gods, and I must bow with him. Oh Jehovah, I hope you'll understand. [LAUGHTER] Now, it isn't enough. This is what I'm trying to say. It isn't enough merely to keep my commitment current by prayer, by quiet, by meditation. 7 � Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource Disciples of Christ Retreat (1971, Santa Barbara, CA) Description An account of the resource "All that a man has is his life." This is the central insight explored in the Disciples of Christ Retreat collection. Throughout these lectures, Thurman discusses the dynamics of commitment in religious experience. A person has a life, and that life must be given to something. Thurman describes commitment as life giving itself to life, which summons up energy and meaning into our private worlds, and enabling new possibilities in our outer lives. For Thurman, the process of yielding to God in our deepest place is the source of our freedom, dignity, and our capacity to love. Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource Description by Rodell Jefferson III. AudioWithTranscription Audio that is shown through the 3Play Media embedded interactive transcript Audio with Transcription <iframe width="100%" height="820" frameborder="0" src="/files/players/394-761_A.html" ></iframe> Location The location of the interview, speech, lecture, or sermon Disciples of Christ Retreat, Santa Barbara, California Original Title Title as transcribed from tape cassette Retreat Santa Barbara, lecture 3 ((b); Santa Barbara, CA), 1971 Jul 24 Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context 394-761_A Creator An entity primarily responsible for making the resource Thurman, Howard Title A name given to the resource Disciples of Christ Retreat, Lecture 3, 1971 July 24 Source A related resource from which the described resource is derived <a href="http://pid.emory.edu/ark:/25593/rp8k9">MSS 394</a> Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource audio Publisher An entity responsible for making the resource available <a href="http://pitts.emory.edu/">Pitts Theology Library, Emory University</a> Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant GEOMETRYCOLLECTION(POINT(-13326617.327544 4086542.6908485)) Description An account of the resource In this third lecture from the Disciples of Christ Retreat, Thurman discusses the conflict and strife that arises in the dynamics of commitment. To yield our inner authority to God is to give up initiative over our own lives; we belong to God, and not simply our own interests and urges. However, Thurman says, that deep down we know that God might lead us into places we did not plan, and perhaps would not have preferred. Thus, religious experience involves both a yielding of our lives to God, as well as snatching our lives back. Surrendering to God is not a singular event, but a never-ending process. Thurman says that prayer and meditation is not enough to keep the commitment, but rather it must be lived out in the traffic of life. Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource Description by Rodell Jefferson III. Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 1971-07-24 https://thurman.pitts.emory.edu/files/original/02cbb5255a2c781368f65454f90cd133.pdf 0f58cfff655c015e9bd6a76b3d3e605e PDF Text Text Pitts Theology Library The Howard Thurman Digital Archive Transcription thurman.pitts.emory.edu 394-762_A.mp3 But then shall I be from Thy presence? Pitts Theology Library Emory University The fourth meeting of Howard Thurman with the DOC retreat group, which was held at 9:30 AM, Sunday, July 25, 1971 in Santa Barbara. I think the first three quarters of the talk are included. After that, the public address system conked out. And hopefully, the rest will be spliced on from an inferior tape later. If I ascend up into heaven, Thou art there. If I make my bed in hell, behold, Thou art there. If I take the wings of the morning and fly to the outermost parts of the sea, even there shall Thy hand hold me. And Thy right hand shall steady me. If I say surely the darkness shall cover me-- cover me, cover me-- even there, the light shineth into the dark. The darkness and the light are both alike to Thee, for Thou hast covered me in my mother's womb. In Thy Book, all my members were written, which, in continuance with fashion, how precious also are Thy thoughts unto me, oh, God. How great is the sum of them? If I should count them, they are more in number than the sand. When I await, I am still with Thee. Fetch me. oh, God-- God, God. And know my heart. Try me. Try me. Try me. And know my thoughts. And see if there be any wicked way in me. And lead me. Lead me in the way everlasting. I dreamt God took my soul to hell. Hell was a fair place. The water of the lake was blue. I said to God, I like this place. And God said, you do? Birds sang, turf came to the water's edge, and trees grew from it. Away off among the trees, I saw beautiful women walking. Their clothes were of many delicate colors, and they clung to them. And they were tall and graceful and had yellow hair. Their robes trailed over the grass. They glided in and out among the trees. And all of their heads held yellow fruit, like large pears of melted gold. And I said to God, this is very fair. I would like to go up and taste. And God said, wait. And after a while, I notice the very fair woman pass. And she looked this way and that way and drew down a branch. And it seemed that she kissed the fruit upon it softly and went on her way, making no rustle as she passed over grass. And I saw other and other women come, making no noise. And they glided away also over the grass. And I said to God, what are they doing? And God said, they're poisoning. 1 �Pitts Theology Library The Howard Thurman Digital Archive Transcription thurman.pitts.emory.edu And I said, how? God said, they touch the fruit with their lips. When they have made a tiny wound in it with their four teeth, they sit in it that which is under their tongue. They close it with their lips that no man may see the place and pass on. Pitts Theology Library Emory University And I said to God, why do they do that? And God said, that another may not eat. And I said to God, but if they poison all, then none dare eat. What do they gain? And God said, nothing. And then I said, are they not afraid that they themselves may bite where someone else has already bitten? And God said, oh, yes. They are afraid. In hell, all men fear. And then He took me to another place, another section. And to my right, among the trees were men working. And I said to God, I should like to go and work with those men. Hell must be a very fruitful place, because the grass is so green. And God said, nothing grows in the garden they're making. We stood looking. And as I saw them working among the bushes, digging holes, but in them, they set nothing. And then they had covered the hole with sticks and earth. Each went away off and sat behind the bushes, watching. And I noticed as each man walked, he set his foot down carefully, looking where he stepped. And I said to God, what are they doing? And God said, they're making pitfalls into which their fellows may sink. And I said to God, why do they do that? And God said, because each man thinks that when his brother falls, he will rise. And God said, how will he rise? And God said, he won't rise. And I saw their eyes gleam from behind the bushes. To you, you see, I feel that God has not left himself without specific witness everywhere. And it is one of the most perilous temptations of the religious spirit to assume that the witness of God is confined to its own tongue, its own language, its own experience, so that I'm always on the lookout for His footprints. And when I'm reading along, pursuing something else, here, He turns up with the most startling illumination. And it comes again and again as a special grace. And this is one of them. Some years ago, I was reading this story aloud to one or both of our daughters. I don't remember. And it's a story with which you are familiar. It's Felix Salten's Bambi. Do you remember that? And I ran into this passage, and I want to read it to you. You may remember it. It's a passage on death in Bambi. Do you remember? "The leaves were falling from the great oak at the meadow's edge. They were falling from all the trees. Now, one branch of the oak reached high above the others and stretched far out over the meadow. Two leaves clung to its very tip. 'It isn't the way it used to be,' said one leaf to the other. 2 �Pitts Theology Library The Howard Thurman Digital Archive Transcription thurman.pitts.emory.edu 'No,' the other leaf answered. 'So many of us have fallen off tonight. We're almost the only ones left on our branch.' Pitts Theology Library Emory University 'You never know who's going to go next,' said the first leaf. 'Even when it was warm and the sun shone, a storm or a cloudburst would come sometimes. And many leaves were torn off, though they were still young. You never know who's going to go next.' 'The sun seldom shines now,' sighed the second leaf. 'And when it does, it gives no warmth. We must have warmth again.' 'Can it be true?' said the first leaf. 'Can it really be true that other leaves come to take our places when we're gone, and after them, still others, and more and more leaves?' 'It is really true,' whispered the second leaf. 'We can't even begin to imagine it. It's beyond our power.' 'It makes me very sad,' said the first leaf. And they were silent for a while. Then the first leaf said quietly to herself, 'Why must we fall?' The second leaf asked, 'What happens to us when we have fallen? We sink down, down. What's under us?' The first leaf answered, 'I don't know. Some say one thing. Some say another. But nobody knows what's under us.' The second leaf answered, 'Do we feel anything? Do we know anything about ourselves when we are down there?' The first leaf answered, 'Who knows?' They were silent again. And then the first leaf said tenderly to the other, 'Don't worry so much about it. You're trembling.' 'Oh, that's nothing,' the second leaf answered. 'I tremble at the least thing now. I don't feel so sure of my hold as I used to.' 'Let's not talk anymore about such things,' said the first leaf. The other replied, "no, we'll let be. But what else shall we talk about?' She was silent, but went on after a little while. 'Which of us will go first?' 'There's still plenty of time to worry about that,' the other leaf assured her. 'Let's remember how beautiful it was, how wonderful when the sun came out and shone so warmly that he thought we'd burst with life. Do you remember?' 'And the morning dew and the mild and splendid night. Now, the nights are dreadful, ' the second leaf complained. 'And there seems to be no end to them.' 3 �Pitts Theology Library The Howard Thurman Digital Archive Transcription thurman.pitts.emory.edu 'We shouldn't complain,' said the first leaf gently. 'We've outlived many, many others.' 'Have I changed much?' asked the second leaf shyly but determinedly. Pitts Theology Library Emory University 'Not in the least,' the first leaf assured her. 'You only think so because I've gotten to be so yellow and ugly. But it's different in your case.' 'Oh, you're fooling me.' And the second leaf said, 'No, really.' The first leaf explained eagerly, 'Believe me. You're as lovely as the day you were born. Here and there may be a little yellow spot. But it's hardly noticeable and only makes you handsomer. Believe me.' 'Thanks,' whispered the second leaf, quite touched. 'I don't believe you, not altogether. But I thank you because you're so kind. You've always been so kind to me. I am now just beginning to understand how kind you are.' 'Shh,' said the other leaf and kept silent herself, for she was too troubled to talk anymore. And then they were both silent. Hours passed. The moist wind blew cold and hot still through the treetops. 'Now,' said the second leaf. 'I-- then her voice broke off. She was torn from her place and sprung down. Winter had come." I'd almost rather go to work. [LAUGHTER] Two things from the inner journey-- keep open the door of thy heart, and remember what our theme is. All that you have is your life. All that a man has is his life. All that I have is my life. Keep open the door of thy heart. It matters not how many doors are closed against thee. It is a wondrous discovery when there is disclosed to the mind the fact that there may be no direct and responsible relation between two human beings that can determine their attitude towards each other. We are accustomed to thinking that one man's attitude towards another is a response to an attitude. The formula is very neat. Love begets love. Hate begets hate. Indifference begets indifference. As we come closer to what we're here to think about this morning, the relevancy of this is tighter than it was before. There are moments in every man's life when he tries to give as good or as bad as he gets. There is a profound ground of unity that is more pertinent and authentic than all the unilateral dimensions of our lives, all these lives. 4 �Pitts Theology Library The Howard Thurman Digital Archive Transcription thurman.pitts.emory.edu This, a man discovers when he is able to keep open the door of his heart. This is one's ultimate responsibility, and it is not dependent upon whether the heart of another is kept open for him. Pitts Theology Library Emory University Here is a mystery. If, sweeping through the door of my heart, there moves continually a genuine love for you, it bypasses all your hate, all your indifference and gets through to you at your center. You're powerless to do anything about it. You may keep alive in devious ways the fires of a bitter heart, but they cannot get through to me. Underneath the surface of all the tension, something else is at work. It is utterly impossible for you to keep another from loving you. You may scorn the love. You may reject the love in all the ways within your power. You may try to close every opening in your own heart. It will not matter. This is no easy sentimentality. It is the very essence of the vitality of all beings, the essence. The way that love is stronger than hate and goes beyond death is the great disclosure to one who has found that when he keeps open the door of his heart, it matters not how many doors are closed against him. And this, and then we're through-- there is a steady anxiety that surrounds man's experience of love. Sometimes, the radiance of love is so soft and gentle that the individual sees himself with all harsh lines wiped away and all limitations blended with his strength. And for a happier combination, that strength seems to be everywhere. And weakness is nowhere to be found. This is a part of the magic, the spell of love. Sometimes, the radiance of love kindles old fires that have long since grown cold from the neglect of despair. Or new fires are kindled by a hope born full-blown, without beginning and without ending. Sometimes, the radiance of love blesses a life that the vision of its possibilities never before dreamed of or thought, stimulating new endeavor and summoning all latent power to energize life at it inmost core. But the other ways by which love works especially great, it may stab the spirit by calling forth a bitter and scathing self-judgment. The heights to which it calls may seem so high that all incentive is lost. And the individual is stricken with an utter hopelessness and despair. It may throw in relief old and forgotten weaknesses to which one has made the adjustment of acceptance but which now spill in their place to offer themselves as testimony of one's unworthiness and to challenge the love with their embarrassing authenticity. It is at such times that one expects love to be dimmed, under the mistaken notion that love is at last based upon merit and worth. Behold the miracle. Love has no awareness of merit or demerit. It has no scale by which its portions may be weighed or measured. 5 �Pitts Theology Library The Howard Thurman Digital Archive Transcription thurman.pitts.emory.edu It does not seek to balance giving and receiving. Love loves. This is its nature. But this does that mean that love is blind, naive, or pretentious. It does not mean that love holds its object securely in its grasp, calling all that it sees. Pitts Theology Library Emory University It does mean that love holds its object securely in its grasp, calling all that it sees right to name, but surrounding all with a root borne both of its passion and its understanding. Here is no traffic in sentimentality, nor catering to weakness or to strength. Instead, there is robust vitality that quickens the roots of personality, creating and unfolding of the self that redefines, reshapes, and makes all things new. Certain experiences are fundamental in quality, that an individual knows that what is happening to him can outlast all things, without itself being dissipated or lost. Whence comes this power, which seems to be the point of referral for all experience and the essence of all meaning? No created thing, no single unit of life, can be the source of such fullness and completeness, for in the experience itself, a man is caught and held by something so much more than he can ever think or be, that there is but one word by which its meaning can be encompassed-- "God." Hence, the farmer says that as long as the love of God shine on us undimmed, not only may no darkness obscure. But also, we may find our way to a point in other hearts beyond all their weakness and beyond all their strength, beyond all that is good and beyond all that is evil in them. There is no thing outside ourselves, no circumstance, no condition, no vicissitude that can ultimately separate us from the love of God and from the love of one another. And we pour out our gratitude to God that this is so. All that a man has is his life. I'll tell it. You sometimes start hallucinating. You want to hear yourselves just saying this over and over again. And all that a man has to give is his life. Therefore, central to the commitment of the life to God, is the giving of that life to life. And this means primarily giving of that life to other lives. And the word that is used to characterize this kind of self-giving, which is the unfolding of an inner necessity generated by the quality and intensity of one's commitment to God, the word that we use is "love," so that in the context of religious experience, love is not something exterior to real life, like a mechanism that one manipulates. It is not a technique that can be put in one's hands and used as an instrumentality. No. It is not in this sense, it seems to me, that love springs out of the genius of the inner experience of commitment. No. But love as the self-giving of the life to life, which means a self-giving of the life to life. And this creates at once a very great and critical screen, because life is everywhere, everywhere. And it 6 �Pitts Theology Library The Howard Thurman Digital Archive Transcription thurman.pitts.emory.edu just may be, you see, that I cannot love human life if I do not love other forms of life. It just may be. One day, someone asked Olive Schreiner, why is it you're not a Christian? Well, they didn't put it to her in that crude way. Pitts Theology Library Emory University But she answered an advertisement to become the governess of the children of a deputy foreign minister in Johannesburg. And when she presented herself, the children just opened up like flowers. They loved her on sight. And she just enveloped them, while the minister watched this. And he said, fine. We want you. But he said, in your credentials, you say nothing about your religion. And she said, well, as far as religion is concerned, I'm a kind of freethinker, a sort of freewheeler. And he said, well, you have all of the qualities we are looking for. But since you don't think straight about religion, you ought to come for half-price. [LAUGHTER] Now, you don't wonder that she would say, in one of her great crystal insights, that she thought that we had misunderstood Jesus Christ, which is very daring for a free-wheeler. It's all right for a theologian to tell us this. 7 � Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource Disciples of Christ Retreat (1971, Santa Barbara, CA) Description An account of the resource "All that a man has is his life." This is the central insight explored in the Disciples of Christ Retreat collection. Throughout these lectures, Thurman discusses the dynamics of commitment in religious experience. A person has a life, and that life must be given to something. Thurman describes commitment as life giving itself to life, which summons up energy and meaning into our private worlds, and enabling new possibilities in our outer lives. For Thurman, the process of yielding to God in our deepest place is the source of our freedom, dignity, and our capacity to love. Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource Description by Rodell Jefferson III. AudioWithTranscription Audio that is shown through the 3Play Media embedded interactive transcript Audio with Transcription <iframe width="100%" height="820" frameborder="0" src="/files/players/394-762_A.html" ></iframe> Location The location of the interview, speech, lecture, or sermon Disciples of Christ Retreat, Santa Barbara, California Disciples of Christ Retreat, Santa Barbara, California Original Title Title as transcribed from tape cassette Retreat Santa Barbara, lecture 4 (Santa Barbara, CA), 1971 Jul 25 Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context 394-762_A Creator An entity primarily responsible for making the resource Thurman, Howard Title A name given to the resource Disciples of Christ Retreat, Lecture 4, 1971 July 25 Source A related resource from which the described resource is derived <a href="http://pid.emory.edu/ark:/25593/rp8k9">MSS 394</a> Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource audio Publisher An entity responsible for making the resource available <a href="http://pitts.emory.edu/">Pitts Theology Library, Emory University</a> Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant GEOMETRYCOLLECTION(POINT(-13326617.327544 4086542.6908485)) Description An account of the resource In this fourth lecture from the Disciples of Christ Retreat, Thurman focuses in on two themes of the inner life. Firstly, one must keep open the door of thy heart, even if other people close their hearts to you. Thurman says that this is our ultimate responsibility, for love can bypass all hate and resistance, and it is impossible to prevent another from loving you. The experience of love is energizing and transformative. Lastly, Thurman loops back to the theme of this collection, "All that a [person] has is [their] life." Thurman says that life is all that a person has to give, and that commitment is to give our lives to life itself, which involves giving our live to others – this act of self-giving from our very center is called love. Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource Description by Rodell Jefferson III. Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 1971-07-25