1 10 5 https://thurman.pitts.emory.edu/files/original/7f193ba34089fb8cbbaa18e411f9bf4f.pdf 7ab76e732f5d3dfeb8885be95525de2a PDF Text Text Pitts Theology Library The Howard Thurman Digital Archive Transcription thurman.pitts.emory.edu 394-274_A.mp3 Pitts Theology Library Emory University For there is not the word in my tongue, but lo, oh Lord, Thou knowest it altogether. Thou hast possessed me behind and before and laid Thy hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me. It is how I cannot attain unto it. Whither shall I go from Thy spirits, or whither shall I flee from Thy presence? If I ascend up into heaven, Thou art there. If I make my bed in hell, behold, Thou art there. If I take the wings of the morning and fly to the uttermost parts of the sea, even there shall Thy hand hold me. And Thy right hand shall steady me. If I say, surely the darkness shall cover me, even the night shall be light above me. The darkness hideth not from Thee, but the night shineth as the day. The darkness and the light are both a light to Thee. How precious also are Thy thoughts unto me, oh God. God. God. How great is the sum of them? If I should count them, they are more in number than the sand. When I awake, I am still with Thee. Search me, o God, and know my heart. Try me and know my thoughts. And see if there be any wicked way in me. And lead me in the way everlasting. Amen. I want to, I want to think with you. And I think that after this marvelous experience of worship and overcoming some of the rough places of last week that you have experienced in your worship time, it is not out of order for me to ask for the use of your minds. You know, it's all right. But of course, we don't know what the mind is. Sometimes, I think, we think with our skin, with our eyes. The mind is nowhere, but it's everywhere. So the mind has been evident in all the things we've been experiencing together. And now I want to ask you to use just another dimension of the same old thing. First of all, then, will you listen? In many ways, beyond all calculation and all reflection, our lives have been deeply touched and influenced by the character, the teaching, and the spirit of Jesus Christ. Now listen. He moves in and out upon the horizon of our days like some fleeting ghost. At times, when we are least aware and least prepared, some startling clear thrust of his mind is our portion. The normal tempo or our ways is turned back upon itself, and we are reminded once again of what we are and of what life is. Often, the judgment of such moments is swift and silencing. Sometimes His insight kindles a wistful longing in the heart softened by the muted cadence of unfulfilled dreams and unrealized hopes. Sometimes his words stir to life long forgotten resolutions, call to mind an earlier time when our feet were set in a good path and our plan was for a holy endeavor. Like a great wind, they move, fanning into flame the burning spirit of the living God. And our leaden spirits are given wings that sweep beyond all of our dreams and all of our aspirations. There is no way to balance the debt we owe to the spirit which he let loose in the world. I want to think with you and feel with you about the search for meaning as it was experience by the Master in the temptations, as found in the scripture lesson, which we read together. And I'd like for you to try to do a very difficult thing. Try to put yourself, take your imagination now, and put yourself into the mind, the thought, the feeling of Jesus while you remain as you are 1 �Pitts Theology Library The Howard Thurman Digital Archive Transcription thurman.pitts.emory.edu seated in your seat. Put yourself in the first person. You are He. Now, now try it. Just, just try it. Don't, don't be discouraged. Pitts Theology Library Emory University What do you think went through his mind when he heard, in his village, about this strange preacher down at the Jordan River, preaching, announcing the coming of the Kingdom and the repentance? How do you think he thought about it when he heard it the first time? What did he say to his mother? How did He arrive at the decision, I think I'll go down there? Was he responding to something outside of himself? Or was he seeing now that this was the next step in his journey? What do you think? How do you think he felt when he waited? What was the burden of his prayer the night after the day that he heard it? What do you think he talked to his father about? What would you have talked to your father about if it had been you? Anyway, he went. And when the presented himself to John the Baptizer for baptism, he had an extraordinary experience. Now, the only way that we know that he had the experience, he must have told about it himself. Because nobody else would have known about this. He said to his disciples or to his friends, to somebody when he was thinking about the road over which he'd come, he said, you know, a very strange and wonderful thing happened the time John baptized me in the Jordan. It seemed to me that the heavens opened and the spirit of God descended like a dove. And I, nobody else, I heard the voice of my Father say, I like what you've done. I like it. How many times, in a long life, does a voice speak in your soul, saying what you're doing makes God happy? Happy. As a result of this experience, he was led, says the Book, led of the spirit-watch the words-- it wasn't a decision that he made out there, but he was led of the spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil to answer one very crucial question. Remember now, you're putting yourself in his place. What must I do with the rest of my life in the light of what I experienced at baptism? That's the question. How can I live and not betray that wonderful moment when the heavens opened and God said, Thou art my Son in whom I am well pleased. What, what steps can I take so as not to betray that? After 40 days and 40 nights, the Book says, he was hungry. But perhaps he didn't really know that he was hungry. You know, have you, have you ever been so inward turned that time stood still? You lost your interest in food? For some of us, that's difficult. But the time passed. And perhaps as he was looking down at a stone near his seat, it reminded him of the kind of oat cakes that his mother used to make. And then he realized, I'm hungry. Now if I am hungry as a result of the way in which I have devoted my mind and spirit in wrestling to find out what must be for me the way to live in the light of this religious experience that I've had, that is an excuse for being hungry. But what about the masses of people who are hungry with nothing to detach their minds from their hunger but the ache in their stomach? What shall I do now? Is the best thing for me to do to give my thought, life, time, energy, everything to feeding the hungry? Is this the will of God? How important is bread? Of course, it is true, as the Zulu adage says, that the full belly child says to the empty belly child, be of good cheer. That's-- but perhaps it is only, perhaps, perhaps, perhaps it is only the empty belly child who can say to the empty belly child, be of good cheer. Be of good cheer. How important is bread? What will a man give in order to eat? What will he sell out in order to eat? 2 �Pitts Theology Library The Howard Thurman Digital Archive Transcription thurman.pitts.emory.edu What will he betray in order to eat? What would he compromise in order to eat? This is a searching question. How do you answer it? I'm glad you don't have to talk out loud. Pitts Theology Library Emory University How important is bread? Shall I give my life and all of my energy in helping my fellows build some windbreak against an economic and a social order so that behind that, with some measure of tranquility and peace of mind, I can raise my family and live to a fruitful and meaningful life? Is this the goal of living? Is this it? There's a story told by a very famous Russian writer whose name was Tolstoy. And it is about a man who always had a dream. And his dream was that he wanted to own the richest land in all the Russias. And if he could get that, all of his questions would be answered. He would ask nothing else of life. And then there was another man who had a lot of rich land. And he advertised, any man who comes and brings to me all the money that he has and gives it to me, I will give him all the land around which he can run from sunrise to sunset. So the hero comes, makes his deposit, and starts running. And then he remembers after awhile that he was so excited about the possibility, that he didn't sleep very well. And now he needs his energy. But this is rich land. He remembered that he didn't want any breakfast. He's ready to push off. And now he needs it. But, but this is rich land. And it's the richest land in all the Russias. And all my life I wanted rich land. If I can just get this. Then he looked up and he saw that the sun was beginning to dip below the trees. And he said, I must make it. I don't have enough strength in my body or breath in my lungs. But this is rich land. And his tired, exhausted feet beat a rhythmic pattern on the soil, rich land, rich land. And finally, when he got back to the starting place, he dropped dead. And they took him aside and buried him in six feet. That's all the rich land he could use. How important is bread? How important is it? Man does not live by bread. But he does live by bread. Man does not live by bread. So perhaps all night, all through the night, this went on in the struggle of the soul of Jesus. Man does not live by bread. Man does live by bread. He does not. He does. He does not. He does. And finally, when he was exhausted, one word came shouting from the hills, alone. Man does not live by bread alone, but by every word that issues from the mouth of God. I may have 40 suits. If I want to stay out of jail, I just better not wear more than one at a time. I may have a house with 25 rooms in it and 25 beds with whatever these mattresses are they talk about. I can sleep in only one at a time. Will I give my life, will I give my life for bread? Or will I give my life for those things that cannot be reduced to bread, to things, but that issue out of the mouth of the eternal, the fruits of the mind, the fruits of the spirit, the fruits of the heart? What shall I do with my life, he asked himself. One thing I know. I will give my life to those things that are on the side of God. Then he went up to the pinnacle of the temple. And the tempter said to him-- listen very carefully-- the tempter said to him, now if you are the Son of God, or he may have said, if you are the Son of God, or he may have said, if you are the Son of God, or he may have said, if you are the Son of God, or if you are the Son of God, jump. And you won't get hurt. For God will give His angels charge concerning you. They will bear you up on their wings lest you dash your foot against a stone. 3 �Pitts Theology Library The Howard Thurman Digital Archive Transcription thurman.pitts.emory.edu Pitts Theology Library Emory University Thou shall not tempt God. For if I go up to the pinnacle of the temple and jump down, the possibilities are I will break my neck, Son of God to the contrary notwithstanding, because this is an orderly world. And anyone who acts as if he is an exception to the rule tempts God to destroy him, to destroy him. This is not an orderly world. That's what the, that's what the tempter says. If you can get a corner on it, you can do as you please and nothing will happen. You get enough power, you can. If you know enough of the right people, you can. Even if you are righteous enough, you can. God is negotiable, this says. And the laws are not binding if you have the right clue, the right clue. You believe that? You believe that? What a time Jesus must have had with this. Because, because he was full to spilling over with the profound awareness that the pulse beat of his Father was moving through him, determining all that he thought and felt and did, strong medicine. Why can't I do as I please? Because my Father is the Creator of the universe. But if I go up to that pinnacle and jump, he will not suspend the law for me. I, when I lived in San Francisco the first time, I had a friend, a young friend who was a matter of great concern to his family because he drove the automobile rather recklessly. You know, he loved the feel of the power under his late adolescent frame. And his mother asked me to talk with him. His father talked with him. Everybody talked with him. And his stock reply was that people have accidents because they don't know how to drive. Every curve in Northern California knows my name. Well, I went to see him in the Stanford Hospital. He met a curve that had never heard about him. He thought because he was young, because he was skillful, that he was an exception to the rule. There is a relentless logic at the very heart of existence called reaping and sowing, antecedent and consequent. And there are no exceptions. He who acts as if he is an exception to the rule tempts God to destroy him. And thou shalt not tempt God. He just may not like it. Do you think you are an exception to the rule because you are fortunate or because you are educated or because you have a skill or because you have more money than some people you know, because you're good looking? Life doesn't know anything about all these things. It's never heard about them. It just knows that you are not an exception, not an exception. So, the search for meaning by, by, by realizing, as he did, that life will not make an exception in my case because of who or what I am. And then finally, the tempter carried him to a high place and he showed him all the kingdoms of the world. And he said to him, this is what you want. This is what you're working, this is what you feel that you were called into the world to do, to make the kingdoms of the world to become the Kingdom of God. Right. It happens, said the tempter, that there's a flaw in your thinking. God created you. God created the disciples. God created all human beings, created the world. Therefore, listen carefully, therefore God created the relationships that exist between these things. And the tempter said, that's logical but it's not true. I am the creator of the relationships that exist between men. And if you want to establish the Kingdom of God, you've got to come by me. A little ceremony, not much, just sign, sign over to me the nerve center of your consent. And you can have it all. And I'll have you. And this, this was perhaps the great crisis in the life of the 4 �Pitts Theology Library The Howard Thurman Digital Archive Transcription thurman.pitts.emory.edu Master. At what point it came, we don't know. The kingdoms of this world, if, if I could get them. Pitts Theology Library Emory University And it may be there's some way by which I can be loyal to my central dedication, and at the same time, make the adjustment to the kingdoms of this world. There's a poet in the Southwest who has described this. And I'll mention just a little of it so you can see what the dilemma is, and particularly for us in modern times, with reference to how we as believers and followers relate to the demands of the state-- S-T-A-T-E, not steak, S-T-A-T-E-- upon us, the deep, the deep conflict that more and more the sensitive, spiritually oriented human being finds himself more and more inclined to be alienated. It is not merely the young who deal with the draft and that sort of thing. I'm not talking merely about that. But whether or not I can give the full-orbed sanction of my deep inner spirit to the power that the state exercises over my life, that's the question that he's dealing with here. A man writing about this as it applied to the Civil War-- and I'm through. My father prayed, said he, as he drew a bead on the great Colts back in those blazing years when the house was divided. Bless his old heart. There never was truer or kinder. Yet my father prayed while hoping that the ball from his clumsy old musket might thud to the body of some hot-eyed young Southerner and tumble him limp in the mud of the Vicksburg trenches. That was my father, praying and shooting, wholeheartedly, never a doubt. But what about me and my death battle? Could I put my prayers behind a slim Springfield bullet except to mutter Jesus, Jesus? You and I part company here. My country calls for my body and takes my soul, also. Turn away, Jesus. Your eyes make me slack in my duty. My father could mix his prayers with his shooting. And he was a great, good man in his generation. But if I should pray like him, I'd spoil it by laughing. What is the matter? What is the matter? In the pinch, how do you cast the ballot which is your life? And because Jesus made what was the logical sequence from the baptism, thou shall worship God only, and Him only shalt thou serve. Two masters? Hardly. On again, off again, so today, which one is it? Tomorrow, on the job, which one is it? Which is it? Thou shalt worship God. You either say yes or no. Anything in between is the great deception. There are no words, our Father, by which we would seek to bend Thy will to our desires, but accepts the offering of our hearts and minds and lives, feeble as they may be, knowing that in Thy great love they shall be purified and refined to delight Thy heart and give praise to Thy spirit. And for us, oh gracious God, for us, this is enough. Amen. 5 � Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource The Search for Meaning (1975, Second Christian Church, Indianapolis, IN) Description An account of the resource In this series about the Search for Meaning, Thurman discusses approaches to finding meaning in things to which we choose to devote our lives and energy through the experiences of self, freedom, and love. Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 1975 Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource Descriptions by ShaCarolyn Halyard AudioWithTranscription Audio that is shown through the 3Play Media embedded interactive transcript Audio with Transcription <iframe width="100%" height="820" frameborder="0" src="/files/players/394-274_A.html" ></iframe> Internal Notes Notes for project team Not sure about exact location - GL 5/14/19 Time Period The decade in which the recording was produced. 1970s Original Title Title as transcribed from tape cassette The Search for Meaning (I) (Indianapolis), 1975 Nov 2 Location The location of the interview, speech, lecture, or sermon Second Christian Church, Indianapolis, Indiana Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context 394-274_A Creator An entity primarily responsible for making the resource Thurman, Howard Title A name given to the resource The Search for Meaning (I), 1975 November 2 Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 1975-11-02 Source A related resource from which the described resource is derived <a href="http://pid.emory.edu/ark:/25593/rp8k9">MSS 394</a> Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource audio Publisher An entity responsible for making the resource available <a href="http://pitts.emory.edu/">Pitts Theology Library, Emory University</a> Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc/4.0/"><img style="border-width:0;" src="https://i.creativecommons.org/l/by-nc/4.0/80x15.png" alt="80x15.png" /></a><br />This work is licensed under a <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc/4.0/">Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 4.0 International License</a>. 2019. Description An account of the resource In this first installment of The Search for Meaning, Howard Thurman uses the temptation of Jesus in the synoptic gospels as a framework for a conversation about those things we choose to devote our lives and energy to. Like Christ, we are no exceptions to the rule of God’s order and God’s will because of who or what we are or decide to be. Spiritual duality and internal conflict as it relates to the demands of state and country are also discussed. Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource Description by ShaCarolyn Halyard duality meaning synoptic gospels https://thurman.pitts.emory.edu/files/original/2d9c952c68a8a17d68188f6bcd0506d0.pdf 8b8ecb152f7de7bc781c5f708e72d5fe PDF Text Text Pitts Theology Library The Howard Thurman Digital Archive Transcription thurman.pitts.emory.edu 394-275_A.mp3 "Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of my enemies. Thou anointest my head with oil. My cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life. And I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever." Pitts Theology Library Emory University "Strong Son of God, the immortal love, Whom we, that have not seen thy face, by faith and faith alone, embrace, believing where we cannot prove. Our little systems have their day. They have their day and cease to be. They are but broken lights of thee. But thou, O Lord, art more than they." Amen. I want you to think with me tonight-- [CLEARS THROAT] excuse me -- about the search for meaning in man's experience of freedom. The search for meaning in man's experience of freedom. I want to read something as a prologue to what I have to say. And when you listen to it, very carefully-- if I can find it. I know it's here, because-- oh, yes. "It is a strange freedom to be adrift in the world of men without a sense of anchor anywhere. Always, there is the need of muring-- the need for the firm grip on something that is rooted and will not give. The urge to be accountable to someone to know that beyond the individual himself, there is an answer that must be given. The very spirit of a man tends to panic from the desolation of going nameless up and down the streets of other minds where no salutation greets, and no friendly recognition makes secure. It is a strange freedom to be adrift in the world of men. Always, the way must be found for bringing into one's solitary place. The settled look from another's face for getting the quiet sanction of another's grace to undergird the meaning of yourself, to be ignored, to be passed over as of no account and as of no meaning is to be made into a faceless thing, not a man. It is better to be the complete victim of an anger unrestrained and the wrath which knows no bounds to be torn asunder without mercy or battered to a pulp by angry violence. It is better to go through all of this then to be passed over as if you are not. Here at last, you are dealt with. You may be vanquished. You may be overcome, overwhelmed but not ignored. It is a strange freedom to go nameless up and down the streets of other minds where no salutation greets, and no sign is given to mark the place one calls one's own." The search for meaning and man's experience of freedom. And the line that I want you to hold in your minds-- and remember, if you forget all of the words in between, give me the strength to be free and to endure the burden of freedom and the loneliness of those without change. Let me say it again-- give me the strength to be free and to endure the burden of freedom and the loneliness of those without change, change, change, change. I want you to work a little with me. 1 �Pitts Theology Library The Howard Thurman Digital Archive Transcription thurman.pitts.emory.edu And as I suggested before, if you get tired, just quit and then start up again when you get your second wind, because I will be right here working until I finish. Pitts Theology Library Emory University There is a fundamental distinction between liberty and freedom. Liberty represents that which can be conferred upon another. It may represent the sharing of a collective sense of obligation on the part of the common life. It maybe be stored as a result of formal or informal agreement in which there is complete and utter sanction. Therefore, it can be taken away. It can be withdrawn. Freedom, however, is an experience of the spirit. It is a quality of being rather than a condition, a category, or a classification, a quality, quality, of being. Therefore, when I think with you tonight about the experience of freedom, I'm talking about that which is most fundamental to the human spirit. I want to give them two working definitions. The first one-- freedom is the ability to stand in your place in the present. Now think with me. And so x in the present as to influence and sometimes determine the future. So to act in the present as to determine, influence, or shape the future. Either life is fluid, dynamic, or it is static, sterile, and dead. My own feeling is more than a feeling. I guess my own-- well, whatever it is is that life itself is alive, now, because you know that you are alive. And the person next to you may be alive. You know your cats alive-- your dog. But the simple idea that life itself is alive is something around which the mind cannot quite get a strong hold on. It's too simple, too profound, too vast, because you see, we are so overwhelmed by all of the particular expressions of life all around us that these expressions of life make a kind of mass attack on the mind. And it obliterates this fundamental sense that life itself is alive. This is a living, breathing, pulsing universe. And if that is the case, then it is possible for me standing in my place so to act in the present as to influence that which is yet to come to pass because life is not fixed-- life is not finished. And, therefore, fundamental to this notion, there is a deeply lying elemental and frontal conviction that there's always, finally, something that can be done about anything. Now, maybe you don't believe that. Maybe you don't believe it. But you see the grounds along which the first definition worked. But the second definition's-- then I want to put my time on. The second working definition is that freedom is a sense of option, a sense of choice, a sense of alternatives. Now mark you, mark you, I did not say that freedom is at any given moment the ability to act on the option. No, I didn't say that. I said that freedom is a sense, a seal of option. And as long as I have that, it doesn't matter what the strictures and limitations of the context is in which my life is being lived. As long as I have that, I'm free. I'm free." 2 �Pitts Theology Library The Howard Thurman Digital Archive Transcription thurman.pitts.emory.edu When I was a boy, I had an older sister. And one of the problems if you had an older sister, and you were a little boy, well, one of the problems was that she wanted to freeze you at the point where you were. You always are a little brother. And I was always trying to find some way to show her-- well, that I was in. So-- Pitts Theology Library Emory University [LAUGHS] One day we were going huckleberry picking-- I come from Daytona, Florida-- and we're going out of the woods, huckleberry picking. And I knew that she was afraid of snakes. And as we walked along this country road, I saw a little baby snake just going on about his business across the road. And I called my sister's attention to the presence of this snake, because I knew then she would react according to her pattern. [LAUGHTER] And she did. And I said, well, I'm not afraid of the snake. I'll show you. I'll stand on him with my bare foot. So I put my foot down on this little creature. And the weight of my body was as such that he could not move. But there came up my leg in simple rhythmic shudders, this-- he couldn't move. But he could keep alive the sense of options. Now this is what I mean. And as long as this is present, I'm free. I am elated at the very core of my awareness. I'm alerted to that moment when I can up the option. This is the fear, for instance, of all dictators. This is why the dictator when he wishes to break the will of people, the knock comes at night after everybody is going to bed. And the next morning, the father and the family is missing and so forth and so on. This feeling that you better not even keep alive the sense of option, because if you do, unwittingly, you might do something that will spell disaster. And one of the surest ways by which this is done is to give to men in any given civilization that he's trying to control a culture that he's trying to control to give to them a fear of death, of death. And if in the collective group a premium of supreme value can be placed upon my physical existence-- now, follow me-- then if a man wishes to control me, all he needs to do is to threaten to kill me. But if I discover that death, even, is not the worst thing in the world, there are some things in life that are worse than death. And when I discover that, I'm free. I'm free-- free-- free. Now, the sense of option follow me. The sense of option, the sense of alternative. I can wait one year, five years, 10 years, 1,000 years, holding this quivering anticipation of tomorrow. And wait, [THUMP] wait with a full-on confidence that the vitality of life is on the side of the vitality in me. And when these get together, nothing can hold me. When I was growing up, again, you found me through referring to my own life. But it's only what I know. 3 �Pitts Theology Library The Howard Thurman Digital Archive Transcription thurman.pitts.emory.edu [LAUGHTER] When I was a little boy in our little community, a traveling evangelist came. I suppose they're still evangelists that go around. And he-- I've always remember him. I don't know what it looked like. And I know that my grandmother took me. Pitts Theology Library Emory University And I got myself comfortable in her lap. She had a great lap with her. And then I would just settle down in there. And just before I dropped off to sleep, I heard him tell this story. I tried to stay awake to see all the rest of it, but this is what I heard. He said, I was given a personally conducted tour through hell. Now, I wasn't assigned there. But I went on a tour, so sightseeing. And the first place to which I was taken was a huge dance hall. Now, this dates me, because at that time, the two great sins, in our church, coddling and dancing. [LAUGHTER] Those are the two great sins. So the first place of which this man was taken on this tour was a huge dance hall where there were millions and millions and millions and millions of couples dancing. And they had to dance forever and forever and forever and with the same partner. [LAUGHTER] And this was hell, because there was no alternative. Even the grounds of a sense of option were dried up by the long reaches of the weary years of eternity. And then they were playing cards. And the cards that they played was Five Up. I don't even heard of a game called Five Up. But this is what they play in when I was a boy. And four people had to sit at these tables playing Five Up throughout eternity-- couldn't get up, couldn't do anything. Now, the thing that made it hell was not a devil with a pitchfork, not a sea of ice or a sea of fire. But the thing that made it hell was that finally the soul died because he couldn't get any air. Freedom then is a sense, a feel of option, of choice, of alternatives. And as long as that is kept alive, it doesn't matter what the context is in which a man lives, and how long that context lasts. His soul does not rot if he keeps alive-- this sense of option. He will not finally be invaded by the environment that closes in upon you. This is what I'm talking about. Now, that means two things. First, it means that I must take responsibility for my own actions. Now, hear me, please, hear me. I am responsible for my own actions. It is not an accident, for instance, that the cherry tree myth about George Washington has persisted as a part of the mythology of our culture and our country. I did it with my little hatchet. A little boy, maybe I should have known better. I don't know. But who cut down the cherry tree? I did it. It is hard for me to learn this, again, because I had two 4 �Pitts Theology Library The Howard Thurman Digital Archive Transcription thurman.pitts.emory.edu sisters, one older and one younger, so that always whenever I did something that caused my mother to expose me to her violence-[LAUGHTER] Pitts Theology Library Emory University I could always, in defense of myself, say to her, my older sister made me do it, or I did it to help my younger sister out. And anything but to take responsibility for my own action, my own deed. And this is a very critical thing for any people, and particularly for many of us who lived on a context in which there are 1,000 extenuating circumstances by which we can rationalize our way out of taking responsibility for what we do. And who robs me of my right to pick up the tab denies me the grounds of my integrity. Don't forget it. Responsibility for my own actions. This is the first great dramatic mark of a free man. And that it is a fellowship church. The intern, who was working with us, a very brilliant young man from the University of Chicago Theological Seminary, decided that even though he would be 25 years old two days after the zero day for registration, that he simply with all conscience could not register. So he wrote a letter to the President of the United States to the United States Attorney in San Francisco and somebody else-- I don't know who else-- saying that he wasn't going to do it and where he would be at 9 o'clock in the morning on the day. He said to the boy, I was sick at the time. He said, I don't want to do anything that's going to embarrass the church. You fighting for your life against every kind of odd, and now here I come with this kind of witness. And it puts a club in anybody's hands to destroy the church. But I've got to do this. So he was arrested. And at the hearing, it was suggested that on the second day, he would appear for sentencing, or whatever the technical term is so that some of the people from our congregation and from the community and one of the lawyers came to my house to see me and to say, even though you're sick, if you'll get out of the bed and come down to the federal court and make a plea on behalf of Bob, I'm sure the judge will mitigate his sentence or suspend his sentence, or whatever it is. You know what I said? I said if Bob comes here and asks me to do it, I will do it after I tell him how I feel. And what would I tell him? And I'm not being facetious now. I did not want to rob him of the privilege of taking responsibility for his deed. What am I? Me think about the judgment and the rest of it that that I did not want to come between him and this exercise of a fundamental freedom, which was his, namely, the right to say, yes, I did it. No, I did not do it. And he came to see me. And he said, I don't want you to do this. Because if you do this, then you take all the-- he uses a very nice word, all the so and so and so out of my witness. [LAUGHTER] 5 �Pitts Theology Library The Howard Thurman Digital Archive Transcription thurman.pitts.emory.edu I want to witness. And now you're trying-- they want you to come to stand between me and this kind of responsibility. And I don't want you to do it. Now, this is what I'm talking about. You may agree or disagree. That's irrelevant. Pitts Theology Library Emory University But the important thing is one of the signs of freedom is the willingness to take responsibility for what you do. Now there may be 1,000 extenuating circumstances that you can bring into play. There are all kinds of things. But in the last analysis, whatever may be the extenuating circumstance, it is you who did the deeds. Now, one more little step, and you very patient. The second is that I am responsible for my reactions to the events of my life. Now, hear me please, because it just isn't fair if you don't hear. I mean, fair to life, not to you. I am not only responsible for my own actions, you see. But I am responsible for my reactions to the events of my life. We are surrounded by many impersonal forces. The impersonal world of nature, an impersonal social economic order that impinges upon us all the time, influencing us, determining various things in which we are helpless. Now, let me illustrate. When we lived in Overland, Ohio, we were halfway or midway between Chicago and New York. And Ms. Summer and I discovered that we had many friends that we didn't know about, because 1 o'clock in the morning or 12 o'clock, the telephone would ring. And I was just passing through Overland from Chicago. And I remember that you lived here. And I'd just like to say hello. Well, 2 o'clock in the morning to say hello, it meant that they wanted a bed and something to eat. So then one afternoon, someone decided she'd make one of her famous cakes that involved eight or nine eggs, some infinite number of eggs like that. And I bought eggs from cross the street. It'd been the right store. And sure enough, about midnight, some people came. And we made scrambled eggs and bacon and toast and put them to bed. Well, she used the tone to bake the cake. So about 9 o'clock in this morning, I went across the street to Billy Wright's store to get a dozen eggs, and it cost me $0.06 more a dozen. Now, from the afternoon to that morning, I'd been as kind to my wife as I knew how. I'd been as decent a human being as I could muster. But that had nothing to do with it. A vast impersonal economic order held me in its grip. And I was a victim, having nothing to do with the quality of my character, the goodness of my heart, or the means of my spirit. If I got the eggs, I would have to pay $0.04 more a dozen. Now, this is what I'm talking about-- the impersonal social order. And the same thing is true with the impersonal world of nature. I was in a snowstorm in Western New York. And I got off the inner urban at the wrong place. And when I stepped out, and snow came up to my waist-- and I realized that nobody was there to meet me. 6 �Pitts Theology Library The Howard Thurman Digital Archive Transcription thurman.pitts.emory.edu And so I'd gotten off at the wrong place and was snowing hard. I couldn't see my way. But I knew that the stop for the inner urban was at a cross street. It would have to be make any sense. Pitts Theology Library Emory University So I started walking, trudging, really, not walking. And the snow was coming down. I could just see out a little in front of me. And first, I kept saying, now, be calm, don't get nervous. But it kept building and building. And I began to hallucinate. I thought I heard voices. And then I thought I was going to die. I was going to freeze to death in that snow, and nobody would find me. Then I began talking to the blizzard. [LAUGHS] Now, I said I'm a young man, just at the beginning of my career. And I don't want to die. So find some extenuating something to let me see tomorrow. But the blizzard just kept on blizzarding. It had no idea that I was there. Now, this is what I'm talking about. Every human being in some sense is a victim to circumstances, to forces over which he has no control and to which there is no response on the part of these impersonal thing to his will, however, good it is, however, holy it is. But the free man-- the free man can determine how he will react to the forces that are not responsive to his will, however, good his will is. This is the mark of a free man. I don't have to say yes or no. I reserve the integrity of my own sense of freedom against the forces. And not only that, something is released in me when I do that. A new dimension of creative energy that begins to well up inside of me that enables me to do a very important thing to transform the spear of frustration into a shaft of light. This is a gift of God to the human spirit. That x, that residue that bottoms the pulsing energy of the human spirit. Once this is felt, the miracle takes place. And what is the miracle of the free man? He discovers that he can stand anything that life can do to him. And when the time comes, and he must die, he goes down to the grave with a shout-- a shout-- a shout. This is our gift that marks us as children of God. Give me the strength to be free and to endure the burden of freedom and the loneliness of those without chains. This is the mark on the forehead that God places on his children. And I will not betray this gift of himself to me by turning it down. Give me the strength to be free and to endure the burden of freedom and the loneliness of those without chains. [INTERPOSING VOICES] 7 � Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource The Search for Meaning (1975, Second Christian Church, Indianapolis, IN) Description An account of the resource In this series about the Search for Meaning, Thurman discusses approaches to finding meaning in things to which we choose to devote our lives and energy through the experiences of self, freedom, and love. Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 1975 Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource Descriptions by ShaCarolyn Halyard AudioWithTranscription Audio that is shown through the 3Play Media embedded interactive transcript Audio with Transcription <iframe width="100%" height="820" frameborder="0" src="/files/players/394-275_A.html" ></iframe> Internal Notes Notes for project team Not sure about exact location - GL 5/14/19 Time Period The decade in which the recording was produced. 1970s Original Title Title as transcribed from tape cassette The Search for Meaning in the Experience of Freedom (III) (Indianapolis), 1975 Nov 4 Location The location of the interview, speech, lecture, or sermon Second Christian Church, Indianapolis, Indiana Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context 394-275_A Creator An entity primarily responsible for making the resource Thurman, Howard Title A name given to the resource The Search for Meaning in the Experience of Freedom (III), 1975 November 4 Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 1975-11-04 Source A related resource from which the described resource is derived <a href="http://pid.emory.edu/ark:/25593/rp8k9">MSS 394</a> Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource audio Publisher An entity responsible for making the resource available <a href="http://pitts.emory.edu/">Pitts Theology Library, Emory University</a> Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc/4.0/"><img style="border-width:0;" src="https://i.creativecommons.org/l/by-nc/4.0/80x15.png" alt="80x15.png" /></a><br />This work is licensed under a <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc/4.0/">Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 4.0 International License</a>. 2019. Description An account of the resource In this third lecture in the Search for Meaning, Howard Thurman discusses freedom as it relates to personal accountability. Thurman defines freedom as the ability to stand in the present that ultimately determines the future. Freedom is also defined as having a sense of option and alternative. It is the freedom of choice that keeps our soul alive. Additionally, it is our desire and ability to take responsibility for our deeds despite extenuating circumstances that give us true liberation. Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource Description by ShaCarolyn Halyard choice freedom liberty meaning option https://thurman.pitts.emory.edu/files/original/2671b71c52e8fa2a07df5514017a8699.pdf 4cb645c759d37cb355b17b228b364364 PDF Text Text Pitts Theology Library The Howard Thurman Digital Archive Transcription thurman.pitts.emory.edu 394-276_B.mp3 Pitts Theology Library Emory University I must develop an attitude or a manner or whatever the word is that will enable me to deal with you out of a sense of your total facts. Now, don't be confused by what may seem to be meaningless words. To deal, it enables me to deal with you taking into account your total fact, your total fact. That means that I must deal with you where you are, as you are, with all of the things about you that I can't stand, and treat you there as if you were where you ought to be. This is what I say. The Master illustrated this. Do you remember in the book when the men brought the woman to Jesus, who was caught and trapped in adultery? And they said, as they dragged her before him, here she is, caught in the act of adultery. You say that you came to fulfill the law. The law says that a woman caught in the act of adultery should be stoned to death. How do you read it, Master? Do we do it? And Jesus says, as he looked at the men-- oh, he was such a gentleman. He didn't look in her face, mingling his view of her with their hard stares. He said, let the man among you who is without spot or blemish cast the first stone. After that, anybody can throw, anybody. And he doodled on the ground. You know? And hearing no cry, no, no shriek of agony or pain, finally, he looked up and he said, woman, where are they? Where are they who would condemn you? Does no man condemn you? No. No man, Lord. Neither do I. Go into peace and don't do it anymore. He met her where she was and treated her there as if she were where she should have been. And by so doing, he took her predicament and believed her into this fresh new possession of her spirit. And he placed a crown over her head that for the rest of her life she was trying to grow tall enough to wear. This is what it means to love. And that's why, that's why when men begin to think and feel and dream about what God must be like, after they finished all of the pronouncements about the Creator of life and the living substance, after they finished all the heavy words about the creation of the stars and the heavens, about One who bottoms all existence, and they get through all of that, there's a whisper in their heart which says, God, God is love. Because for love's sake, I will do for another human being what no power in heaven or hell or on the earth could make me do if I didn't love. Therefore, love is the supreme flowering of the mind, of the genius, of the idiom, of the heart of God. So when I love, it seems as if my weakness becomes strength. And the vast solitariness of my spirit finds in a strange, wonderful way that I am being companion. So let the winds blow till they awaken death. Let the clamoring bark climb hills of sea Olympus high if there is, in my heart, love for you. With all my sins, with all my weaknesses, with all of my failures, if there is love in my heart for you, I'm sure that I can stand anything else that life can do to me. So, there's only one place of refuge for any man on this earth. It's not in money. It's not in culture. It's not in education. It is not in the confession of faith. It is not in the creed. It is not in the dogma. There's only one place of refuge for any man, and that is in another man's heart. So make of your heart a swinging door so that the [INAUDIBLE] or lame, the blind, the arrogant, 1 �Pitts Theology Library The Howard Thurman Digital Archive Transcription thurman.pitts.emory.edu the unlovely and the lovely can sweep in and feast at your altar, in the name of the God who first loved you, who first, first, first loved you. Pitts Theology Library Emory University The new mother, when she looks at the head of the babe in her arms, whispers in her heart, my child, may you seek after truth. If anything I teach you be false, may you throw it from you and go on to richer knowledge and deeper truth that I have ever known. If you become a man of thought and learning, may you never fail to tear down with your right hand what your left hand has built up through years of thought and study if you see it at last not to be founded on that which is. If you become a politician, may no success for your party or love of your nation or security for yourself ever lead you to tamper with reality and to play a diplomatic part. In all of your circumstances, my child, fling yourself down on the truth and cling to that as a drowning man in a stormy sea flings himself onto a plank and clings to it knowing that whether he sink or swim with it, it is the best that he has. And I pull unknown, perhaps unloved, even a failure, but shut your eyes to nothing that seems to your heart to be the truth, my child. 2 � Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource The Search for Meaning (1975, Second Christian Church, Indianapolis, IN) Description An account of the resource In this series about the Search for Meaning, Thurman discusses approaches to finding meaning in things to which we choose to devote our lives and energy through the experiences of self, freedom, and love. Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 1975 Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource Descriptions by ShaCarolyn Halyard AudioWithTranscription Audio that is shown through the 3Play Media embedded interactive transcript Audio with Transcription <iframe width="100%" height="820" frameborder="0" src="/files/players/394-276_B.html" ></iframe> Internal Notes Notes for project team Not sure about exact location - GL 5/14/19 Time Period The decade in which the recording was produced. 1970s Original Title Title as transcribed from tape cassette The Search for Meaning in the Experience of Love (IV) (Indianapolis) [Side B], 1975 Nov 5 Location The location of the interview, speech, lecture, or sermon Second Christian Church, Indianapolis, Indiana Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context 394-276_B Creator An entity primarily responsible for making the resource Thurman, Howard Title A name given to the resource The Search for Meaning in the Experience of Love (IV) (continued), 1975 November 5 Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 1975-11-05 Source A related resource from which the described resource is derived <a href="http://pid.emory.edu/ark:/25593/rp8k9">MSS 394</a> Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource audio Publisher An entity responsible for making the resource available <a href="http://pitts.emory.edu/">Pitts Theology Library, Emory University</a> Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc/4.0/"><img style="border-width:0;" src="https://i.creativecommons.org/l/by-nc/4.0/80x15.png" alt="80x15.png" /></a><br />This work is licensed under a <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc/4.0/">Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 4.0 International License</a>. 2019. Description An account of the resource In this second part of Howard Thurman’s lecture on the Experience of Love, Thurman continues his discussion on the acceptance of others in their totality. John 8:1-11 is used to highlight the importance of meeting others where they are while treating them as though they are where they should be. We do not find Refuge in material possessions; we find refuge in the heart of those who love us. Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource Description by ShaCarolyn Halyard experience love refuge https://thurman.pitts.emory.edu/files/original/91b8d1eab237e27b59db4be1032d3e83.pdf 29661f22130a205089e8a1941be952e7 PDF Text Text Pitts Theology Library The Howard Thurman Digital Archive Transcription thurman.pitts.emory.edu 394-276_A.mp3 Oh, Master, let me walk with thee in lowly paths of service, free. Tell me thy secret. Help me bear the strain of toil, the fret of care. Pitts Theology Library Emory University Teach me thy patience, still with thee in closer, dearer company in work that keeps faith sweet and strong and trust that triumphs over all, in hope that sends a shining ray far down the future's broadening way, in peace that only thou can give. With thee, oh, Master, let me live. Thou who builds the nest for the bird that has lost his sight, build thou for us, our father, for we, too, are blind. Amen. The search for meaning in man's experience of love-- the new mother, when she looks at the head of the babe in her arms, whispers in her heart, my child, may you seek after truth. If anything I teach you be fault, may you throw it from you and go on to a richer and deeper truth than I have ever known. If you become a man of thought and learning, may you never feel to tear down with your right hand what your left hand has built up through years of thought and study if you see it, at last, not to be founded on that which is. If you become a politician, may no success for your party or love of your country ever lead you to tamper with reality and to play a diplomatic part. If you become an artist, may you never fail to paint with pen or brush any picture of external light otherwise than as you see it. In all of your circumstances, my child, fling yourself down on the truth, and cling to that as a drowning man in a stormy sea flings himself onto a plank and clings to it, knowing that whether he sink or swim with it, it is the best that he has. Die poor, unknown, unloved-- a failure, perhaps. But shut your eyes to nothing that seems, to them, to be the truth. There is, surrounding the life of every man, a sense of great isolation-- not a sense of loneliness. I'm not talking about that. But there are moments in every man's life when he feels stripped to whatever there is in him that is literal and irreducible. And he calls in his solitariness. And again and again, he seems to hear no answer. So there is a deep hunger in the human spirit for the private sense of the individual's own worth, worth, worth, worth. And the more impersonal and the more hostile or the more negative may be the environment by which his life is surrounded, the more he is tempted to internalize this and to give himself a private, personal feeling that he doesn't count-- he doesn't count. And now and then, in the course of one's life-- fortunate if it comes early-- there is a moment when something happens that gives to the individual a sense of his own worth, worth. I want to begin, then, by giving you two pictures, two incidents, two moments in my own life in which I was visited in this way. The first came from the lips of my grandmother. She was quite a person. She had what I called a built-in sense of authority. 1 �Pitts Theology Library The Howard Thurman Digital Archive Transcription thurman.pitts.emory.edu [LAUGHING] She could sit on our front porch in her rocking chair and control all the children a block in each direction without ever moving. Pitts Theology Library Emory University [LAUGHING] And when we were very small and there were moments when she sensed that the water in our well was very low and the ceiling also was closing in upon us, she would tell us this story that I want to tell you. She was a young woman when the Civil War was fought. She was a slave in north Florida in a section just outside of Tallahassee, Florida called Moseley Hall. Once or twice a year, according to her story, the slave minister on their particular plantation was permitted to have a religious service for all the slaves on that plantation and neighboring plantation. And always, she said, it didn't matter what he preached about. He always ended the same way. It's a tradition, you know? What we said in Florida when I was a boy, it didn't matter what the text was. Before the minister was through, he took you by Calvary. [LAUGHING] He did not take them by Calvary. But he told them this. She said he would stand, and his eyes would crawl on all the faces. And then he would say, standing his full height, you are not slaves, you are not niggers, you are God's children. And as she said that, there was just a little tightening of her spine. And we knew- this is the first-- that there was a sense-- an inherent-- how to say this-- a built-in, a congenital sense of inherent worth that did not take its meaning, its significance, from anything in the external environment. And it's strong medicine for a little boy to feel that the creator of the stars, of the Atlantic Ocean, of the Halifax River, was also my father. My father. And it remained for my life to work out, in a cycling series-- sometimes of mad adventures-- the validation of this original increment. Now one other picture. And then we will struggle a little with the idea of the subject. I will get there. And this also comes from my own childhood. When I finished the seventh grade in Daytona, I went to work, as all of our fellows did, because there was no eighth grade for us in our town of Daytona. And whenever my mother and grandmother and other home-owners petitioned the school board for high school for us, their stuck answer was, there is no child in town eligible for high school, because there is no child in town who'd finish the eighth grade. So this kept. When I finished, my teacher felt that I had promise. And he asked my mother if she would ask the man for whom I was going to work to let me take two hours for lunch every day. And I would work an hour longer in the afternoon so that this teacher-- Professor Howard was his name-- could, on his lunch hour, teach me the eighth grade. 2 �Pitts Theology Library The Howard Thurman Digital Archive Transcription thurman.pitts.emory.edu So he did. And at the end of the term in the spring, he said to the superintendent that I have a boy who is ready to take the eighth grade examination. And there was no such boy, in the mind of the superintendent, because there was no eighth grade. And then he told him what he'd done. Pitts Theology Library Emory University He said, well, I will not let you give him the examination, but I'll prepare it and give it. So he prepared it and gave it. And fortunately, I passed it. The next year, we got the eighth grade. The problem was, to go on to high school, at that time-- I'll be through with this story in a minute. At that time, there were only three high schools for Negro children-- or as you say now, black children-- in the entire state of Florida. One was in Jacksonville. And I had a cousin who lived in Jacksonville. And he said, if you can get to Jacksonville, and you can live with us. And if you do all of the chores and things of that sort around the house, we will give you a room and a meal a day. Incidentally, the school was just four and a half miles away. So the problem next was getting out of town. It was only 110 miles. But all the money that I made went to my mother and my grandmother and my two sisters to keep the house going-- my little part of it. So when September came, I didn't have the $5.00. The railroad fare was $3.80. And I didn't have the $5.00. Not only did I not have the $5.00, but I didn't have a trunk, because nobody in our house, our family, had ever been anywhere. So why would you have a trunk? So a neighbor, whose son had gone to Tuskegee some 15 years before, gave me his old trunk. And it had no lock. It had no handles. So I put my things in it. Then the problem was how to get the $5.00. But in those days, every child and every adult in our community had what was called a $0.10 policy-- a little sick-and-accident policy. If you had a dime a week when the man came around to collect, and when you got sick, you could get $5.00 if you filled out your blank. And then your problem was to be sure to stay in bed so when he came around, he wouldn't catch you up. And then my mother sent for the family doctor, Dr. [? Stockins. ?] And when he came, he gave me some medicine. And I said, I can't pay you for your visit until next summer, because I'm going to school with this money. So I told everybody goodbye. And all the neighbors turned out. It was wonderful. And when I got to the railway station, I bought my ticket and wanted to check my trunk. And the agent said, boy, you can't check your trunk on your ticket, because the regulation is that the tag has to be attached to the trunk, not to the rope. You'll have to send it by express. And I didn't have any money to do that. So I sat down on the steps of the railway station, crying my heart out, because my dream was gone. I'd told everybody goodbye. I had my lunch that my mother had fixed for me. 3 �Pitts Theology Library The Howard Thurman Digital Archive Transcription thurman.pitts.emory.edu Now the idea of going back home, not having left home, was a little more emotional than I could manage. And as I sat there crying with my hands over my eyes, when I opened my eyes, there were two big feet right down in front. And my eyes moved all the way up until I looked into the face of this man. Pitts Theology Library Emory University He had on blue overalls, a blue bandanna handkerchief around his neck, and a sort of cap that trainmen wore. He took a sack of Bull Durham tobacco out of his pocket, opened it. Out of this pocket, he took his cigarette paper and, all with one hand, opened it, put the cigarette in the paper-- the tobacco in the paper-- rolled it, sealed it with saliva, put it in his mouth, tightened the cord, put it back in his pocket. Out of another pocket, took a kitchen match, and on his thumb, he struck it. He lighted the cigarette, inhaled deeply, and as the smoke came out, he said, boy, what the hell are you crying about? And I told him. And I hear, he said, if you're trying to get out of this town to make something out of yourself, the least I can do is to help you. So he took me around to the agent. And he said, how much does it take to send this boy's trunk to Jacksonville? The agent told me. He counted the money out from a leather pouch. The agent wrote the receipt, gave the receipt to him. He gave the receipt to me. And he turned and walked out to the track and disappeared down the track. He had never seen me before. I had never seen him before. I did not know who he was. He did not know who I was. But because of this special moment of grace, I'm here tonight. Now this announced to me that, in and of myself, I was of worth, of worth, of worth. And since that time, I have not worn blinkers. And I know how hard life is. But there never has been a moment when the glow of that benediction has not illumined the darkest corner in which I've lived. Now that's the prologue. Now you've had a chance to rest a little. So let's go to work. [LAUGHING] The search for meaning in man's experience of love. To love means-- and this is the proposition. To love means to deal with another human being at a point in that human being that is beyond all of his faults and all of his virtues. Now let me say it again, because there's no hurry. To love is to deal with another human being at a point in that human being that is beyond all of his faults and all of his virtues. And to be loved is to have a sense of being touched at a point in you that is beyond all your faults and all your virtues. This means, then, that I must feel. However I start out, I must feel that, in this experience, that at last I am being understood. If I were to ask you tonight, just if you had one wish, stripped of all other wishes, my guess is, after you dismissed all such things as money in the bank and a car and health and all the tiddly winks, it would be a feeling that I am understood-- that for one swirling 4 �Pitts Theology Library The Howard Thurman Digital Archive Transcription thurman.pitts.emory.edu moment, it is unnecessary for me to pretend anything-- just to be me, undisguised, naked, exposed, completely vulnerable, and utterly secure. Pitts Theology Library Emory University Now in order to experience this, I have to feel that I am being understood-- understood-- that whatever may be the meaning of the words I use, however they may seem to the listener, I am searching always for that moment when I am being heard-- not my words. Words are very interesting and tricky things. We use our words again and again, not to communicate what we are feeling and thinking, but to protect ourselves from exposing what we are feeling and thinking. Now this came to me very early. I had two young aunts when I was growing up. And they were-- well, they were young aunts. And the first money that I earned from within that context was $0.05 a night on Friday night, which was the calling night. My job was to be on the door so as to get rid of the wrong fellow who came. And my first night, a certain young man came to the door. My aunt was standing, pulling the curtain back just a little to see who it was. And she said, Howard, tell him I'm not here. So when I answered the door, I said, Pip-- that's what we called my aunt-- says she's not here. [LAUGHING] Well, that's what she did say. And little by little, I began to develop something else-- a way to use my words that would keep me from disclosing either what was in my mind or the secret in my heart. And we called it getting mature. Now to go on, love is to deal with another person at a point in that person that is beyond all of his faults and all of his virtues. And to be loved is to have a sense of being totally dealt with, totally held, so that you can dare to be free enough in your spirit just to run the risk of being you. Now this requires something else. It requires the use of imagination. Imagination-- that strange and mysterious gift of God, which, in my thought, seems to be a reflection of the image of God that is in us. It is what may be called the angelos, the messenger of God. This is the imagination. And you can't love if you don't have it-- if you don't have it. And imagination has an instrumentality in God's children's hand for unlocking the doors of other hearts that you may enter. Means the ability, the gift-- not ability-- the gift to project yourself-- and listen very carefully-- to project yourself into another person. And when you do this to, with your imagination, make soundings-- [KNOCKING]-- on the other side and then report what you hear to you on this side so that you will be able to deal with the other person in the light of the soundings that you have taken on this side. For instance, there can be no forgiveness where this doesn't happen, because every time you are engaged in the psychological or the spiritual experience of forgiveness, again and again, you come upon that which blocks the deed that has made the rupture-- that blocks the entrance so you can't get in to look out through the other person's eyes. 5 �Pitts Theology Library The Howard Thurman Digital Archive Transcription thurman.pitts.emory.edu Pitts Theology Library Emory University Every time you start, you come upon this thing that blocks you. And you bounce back. Now imagination is the angelos of God that enables us to transcend, to pass beyond, to leap over, to go through-- whatever the words are-- the deed that the person has done that blocks you so that you begin to look not at the deed in terms of the injury that the deed has inflicted upon you, but you begin to look at the deed from the other side-- out on that stirring, need, anxiety, pain, suffering, hostility-- whatever it is that enabled that person to commit this kind of deed against you. So you say, I'll forgive you, but I can't forget you. I forgive you, but I'll feed you with a longhandled spoon so you won't get close to me. I've got to find a way to hurdle this so that I can look at it-- the deed-- as it affects me, not in my eyes, but through the eyes of the person from whom the deed emanates. And if I can't do that, I can't forgive. I can pray all night. I can fast for 1,000 years. But here is the roadblock and I can't get past it. I can weep. I can give you everything. I can try to make up for it. But I can't get through. So Jesus says, how many times, I ask him, how many times shall I forgive? Once? No. Seven times? No. An infinite series of time, over and over again, because when I get on the other side out of which the deed comes, then I see all kinds of things at work there that I didn't see before. And it causes me to feel with a measure of compassion towards the kind of misery, for instance, out of which this deed sprang in the first place that injured me so deeply. Let me put a window there. You're struggling. I was going on a train from Buffalo, New York to New York City one Sunday morning. And a man sat across the aisle from me, leaning back, his eyes closed. And the man who sat behind him bought from the newsman who came through. In those days, there were newsmen who got on trains. And he brought the New York Sunday Times. And in those days, the New York Times weighed, I imagine, about 25 pounds. It was before paper was so high. And when the train made a lurch around the curve, this heavy New York Times bounced against the bald [INAUDIBLE] of the man who was leaning back with his eyes closed. And when it did, the man sprang up and began to say things to this fellow that it is unlawful to utter. And right in the middle of it, he froze. He stopped. And he said, please forgive me, but I've been riding on the train since Chicago, and my whole head is just one seething, pulsing pain of neuralgia. And when that paper hit my head, I went berserk. Now suppose I had gone out of the car while he was swearing, I would have had one idea. But when I heard, then he gave me a little quick-- a little opening through which I could shoot and stand where he stood and look out at the situation through his eyes. And what was resentment and a certain kind of pride became compassion. And I was sorry for his pain. There can be no love where one is not involved in the use of the angelos of God-- the imagination. Now to pull it together so that you will-- just a few more minutes. 6 �Pitts Theology Library The Howard Thurman Digital Archive Transcription thurman.pitts.emory.edu I was visiting with a friend who had a little boy who was just learning how to ride his kiddie cart. And he rode his kiddie cart out into the living room, where I was seated, reading the morning's paper. He stopped his car just at my feet. Pitts Theology Library Emory University And he said, Mr. Thurman, will you please help me change my tire, I just had a blow-out. So I put the newspaper down, and I helped him jack up his car. And we took the old spare off and put a new one on. All the etiquette of tire-changing, we observed. And then I went back to my chair. He sat in his car. He tried to start the motor up. But the motor wouldn't turn over. It was an old-fashioned car. He pulled out the choke. Nothing happened. So he said, I better look at the engine. So he got out. And he opened the hood on this side, said, everything's all right here. On this side, everything's all right here. And then he went back in the car. And I didn't want to watch him too much. I sort of looked at him out of the corner of my eye. I noticed suddenly that his little pre-adolescent shoulders began to tighten. And a grim look came in his face. And out of his mouth came words that I had not heard since the days that I worked in the barber shop in Daytona. [LAUGHING] These were the words he had heard his father use under such circumstances. And still, the motor wouldn't turn over. So he got out of the car, came over to me, and asked me, did I have a pencil. So I gave him my pen. And he went around back of the car, took the top of the tank, put the pencil-- the pen-- down in the tank, and held it up. He said, ah, the tank is empty. And with that, he gave me my pencil, went out into the kitchen, asked his mother for a glass of water, came back, sat on his kiddie cart, drank the water, started the motor up, and drove on out of the living room, into the kitchen to deliver the glass. A simple-- hear this. A simple act of self-projection that enabled me to put myself past your barrier to look out on life through your eyes, even as I remain myself. And this gives, to me, compassion, rather than judgement. And this is to love. Now one more step-- and you've been very gracious. I must develop-- in the experience of love, I must develop-- how to say this? I must develop an attitude or a manner, or whatever the word is, that will enable me to-- 7 � Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource The Search for Meaning (1975, Second Christian Church, Indianapolis, IN) Description An account of the resource In this series about the Search for Meaning, Thurman discusses approaches to finding meaning in things to which we choose to devote our lives and energy through the experiences of self, freedom, and love. Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 1975 Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource Descriptions by ShaCarolyn Halyard AudioWithTranscription Audio that is shown through the 3Play Media embedded interactive transcript Audio with Transcription <iframe width="100%" height="820" frameborder="0" src="/files/players/394-276_A.html" ></iframe> Internal Notes Notes for project team Not sure about exact location - GL 5/14/19 Edits: Dr. Stockins; bald pate - GL 5/22/19 Time Period The decade in which the recording was produced. 1970s Original Title Title as transcribed from tape cassette The Search for Meaning in the Experience of Love (IV) (Indianapolis) [Side A], 1975 Nov 5 Location The location of the interview, speech, lecture, or sermon Second Christian Church, Indianapolis, Indiana Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context 394-276_A Creator An entity primarily responsible for making the resource Thurman, Howard Title A name given to the resource The Search for Meaning in the Experience of Love (IV), 1975 November 5 Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 1975-11-05 Source A related resource from which the described resource is derived <a href="http://pid.emory.edu/ark:/25593/rp8k9">MSS 394</a> Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource audio Publisher An entity responsible for making the resource available <a href="http://pitts.emory.edu/">Pitts Theology Library, Emory University</a> Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc/4.0/"><img style="border-width:0;" src="https://i.creativecommons.org/l/by-nc/4.0/80x15.png" alt="80x15.png" /></a><br />This work is licensed under a <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc/4.0/">Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 4.0 International License</a>. 2019. Description An account of the resource This fourth lecture in The Search for Meaning series is the first part of Howard Thurman’s talk on the experience of love. Here Thurman defines love as the ability to deal with another person at a point in that person that is beyond all of his faults and all of his virtues. To be loved is to have a sense of being totally dealt with, totally held, so that you can dare to be free enough in your spirit just to run the risk of being you. Howard Thurman also uses several anecdotes to demonstrate love as a function of personal worth and forgiveness in this lecture. Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource Description by ShaCarolyn Halyard experience forgiveness love worth https://thurman.pitts.emory.edu/files/original/6b80978a22a8d07f44e5d8e1b1226df4.pdf cd47900c6e842452407aeb2717540c3d PDF Text Text Pitts Theology Library The Howard Thurman Digital Archive Transcription thurman.pitts.emory.edu 394-274_B.mp3 Pitts Theology Library Emory University Oh, Sabbath rest by Galilee. Oh come of hills above, where Jesus knelt to share with thee, the silence of eternity interpreted by love, dropped by still dews of quietness till all our striving cease. Take from our souls the strain and stress, and let our ordered lives confess the beauty of thy peace. Amen. I want to read two paragraphs from McCall's The Hand of God as a background for our thinking together tonight about a search for meaning in the experience of the self. Be under no illusions you shall gather to yourself the images you love. As you go, the shapes, the lights, the shadows of the things you have preferred will come to you inevitably as bees to their hives. And there in your mind and spirit, they will leave with you their distilled essence, sweet as honey or bitter as gold, and you will grow unto their likeness because then nature will be in you. As men see the color and the wave, so shall men see in you the thing you have loved most. Out of your eyes, will look the spirit you have chosen. In your smile and in your frown, the years will speak. You will not walk, nor stand, nor sit, nor will your hand move, but you will confess the one you serve, and upon your forehead will be written his name as by a revealing pen. Now, cleverness may select skillful words to cast a veil about you, and circumspection may never sleep, yet you will not be here, no. As year adds to year, that face of yours, which once liked an unwritten page, lay smooth in your baby crib, will take to itself lines and still more lines as the parchment of an old historian who jealously sets down all the stories, and there, more deep than acids etched to steel, will grow the inscribed narrative of your mental habits. The emotions of your heart, your sense of conscious, your response to duty, what you think of your God, what you think of your fellow man, what you think of yourself-- it will all be there. For men become like that which they love, and the name thereof is written on their brows. I won't take any time to express my appreciation for the privilege of being here tonight, but I would assume that you would assume that that's the way I feel. The search for meaning in the experience of the self. Now, there's something very stark and lonely about man's life on this planet. There's a sense in which your felt isolation is so terrifying. And we want to find ways by which we can announce to life that we are here. I'm here. I have a friend who two years ago became blind, and I was talking with her last week. I said Geneva, how does it feel now that you're blind? And she said the most awkward and sometimes terrifying thing is this that when I'm in a group with other people, I have a feeling that nobody knows that I am there. I can't see their faces, so there's nothing that comes through to me as recognition, and I have a sense of such utter isolation. So we're on the scent of the self all the time, and I want you to think with me about it. The master and his group of disciples were wandering through the hills in search, perhaps, of a quiet place to gather their spirits together, and prepare for the next onslaught of suffering, hungry, needy human beings. And when they looked up, they saw a man whose mind was in a tilted place. He had broken away from the rocks where he had been chained, and these chains 1 �Pitts Theology Library The Howard Thurman Digital Archive Transcription thurman.pitts.emory.edu were hanging from his wrists, as he moved across the rocks, crying as an animal in pain. And when Jesus saw him, do you remember what he said? Pitts Theology Library Emory University | said what is your name? Who are you? And at that moment, the man's tilted mind righted itself just temporarily when he said, "that's my trouble, I don't know. If I only knew, then my mind could settle in it's socket. I have no authentic sense of my own self." Now I want to work at that with your minds for a little while. It's far enough removed from dinner so that you can work a little, and then when you get tired, take a quick nap, but do it quietly, and I will still be here working along for a little while. A psychiatrist at Union Theological Seminary, whose name I don't remember at the moment, has published this story in a book on personality. He says that a mother, and a daughter, and a son went into a restaurant for dinner. The waitress came over and she took the mothers' order, and then she took the daughters' order, and then she said to the boy, "Young man, what will you have?" And he started to say something, but the mother said, "Oh, I will order for him." And then the daughter said, "Well if mother were not here and we were alone, I would order for him," but the waitress was very persistent, and insightful, and compassionate. She said, "but young man, what will you have? A hamburger with lettuce, and ketchup, and mustard, the works?" And he whispered, "A hamburger, mustard, and ketchup, and relish, the works." She went away and with no voice she gave the mothers' order, and the daughters' order, and then she said, "One hamburger, the works," and the boy now looked at his mother in utter amazement. "Mother," he said, "she thinks I'm real." I must experience myself first by experiencing my own body, my own organism. It sounds so crude, so simple to put it this way, but the awareness that my body is my body. It is the citadel, the temple, the home of my spirit. It is where I live. And it is a very interesting and fascinating story just the way by which the growing child comes into possession of himself as a body. Let me illustrate it. I put windows so as not to waste your time. A friend of mine and I were babysitting. That is, he was babysitting, and in order for me to talk with him, I had to babysit also. We were talking, and every now and then, a muted sound came either through the keyboard or under the door. It didn't ever quite sound, and it wasn't a whimper, but just enough to create static or confusion in our conversation, and it was a war of nerves. And finally I said to him, let's go in the room, and see what's going on so that we can get on with our business. And then I went in the room, we went in the room, his own son had-- I don't know, he was maybe a year. I don't know how old, but he kicked the blanket off, and was gumming his big toe and crying because it hurt. He did not know that this was his toe. He had not extended his sense of self to include the totality of his little organism, and that is why again and again, because we are always trying to establish residence in our bodies as our home. And that's why when men wish to break the wills of other men, they reduce the body, the house, to boundless torture so that in self defense-- no, no, in defense of some fleeting sense of self, a man withdraws himself from his organism in order that his organism may be brutalized, and he can still live. But once I become an alien in my own organism, I can be systematically destroyed. 2 �Pitts Theology Library The Howard Thurman Digital Archive Transcription thurman.pitts.emory.edu The sense of my own organism as my dwelling place, yes. Yeah. That I must experience my own mind as my mind, and I just touch that, and pass on. Pitts Theology Library Emory University It's a very interesting exercise to try sometimes to see how much equity, how much-- oh, what's the word? How much-- well, equity-- how much right do you have in the ideas that you peddle. Which you do you recognize as ones in which you, with your mind and spirit, you have established what may be called squatters rights? An idea passes through your mind, and something of you-- and you domesticate it. You make it a part of your inner family, and it begins to raise its own family, and then you call it your thoughts. Your thoughts. Your thoughts. I must experience-- how to put this? I must experience my own heart. No, that isn't what I want to say. Well, it's as close as I can get to it. You must experience your own inner meanings, the values that are yours by which you're willing to live or die. And this is so important because, you see, if I act contrary to my own inner sense of moral and ethical values, values to which I have given my deep frontal assent, when I, as a deliberate act on my part, violate this inner sensitive network of value tones, then the world begins to grow dingy on my sleeve. Those are a lot of words. Let me put a window to you there. When I was a boy by agreement, although I don't mean that. You know, words are something. It happened that when I was a boy, my mother and I entered into an agreement. Now you see what I mean. And that was that I would not shoot marbles for keeps because our little community, there were many, many gamblers, and they didn't work. And in Daytona, they were called sweet backs. Why? I don't know. But my mother did not want me to grow up to be a sweet back. So we had this agreement that I would never shoot marbles for keeps because this was the road to gambling. It happened that I had an older sister who always found some extraordinary use for all the marbles that I could accumulate, and one day when I went to my cigar box in which I kept my marbles, it was empty, and then I thought of a certain boy whose father was a stationary engineer at the ice house downtown, and every day at noon, he came by taking his father's lunch to dad's house, and in about an hour, he came back. So he always had marbles. His family was able to provide him with all the tools for enjoying himself, but he didn't have many skills. [LAUGHTER] He always had a bat and a ball, but he didn't know how to play ball very well. So in order to get a chance to play ball, he would let us use his ball and bat. So I walked out of the yard without any formal announcement, and waited for him up on the corner. And when he came along, I asked him did he have any marbles? And he said, yes, I have some marbles. And I said, would you like to play marbles for keeps? And he said yes, I would. So I said well, you'll have to lend me some marbles. So I borrowed some marbles from him and we played marbles for keeps until I had a good supply, which incidentally, was all that he had, and then I went home. And as soon as my mother heard my footsteps, she called to me, and time stood still. And great was my relief when I discovered that she just wanted me to go on an errand. And for one day, for two days, for three days, for four days, every time I looked at her, she was looking at me. 3 �Pitts Theology Library The Howard Thurman Digital Archive Transcription thurman.pitts.emory.edu And finally, I could not stand it any longer, and I went to her and confessed the whole thing, and now she was hearing about it for the first time. If in my private life, I do violence to that inner network of values, which in terms of the morality of my life, become a loan through which all the rest of my meaning breathes-- if I do violence to that, then the moral fabric of my life begins to fall apart, to break down, and life get dingy on my sleeve. Pitts Theology Library Emory University Now, the master, the master saw this. How I wish I had walked with him in Palastine. His family said that in order to spare him from his enemies, don't take him too seriously because he's a little out of his mind. You remember that passage? Not crazy, but his mind is just sort of leaning, and they wanted to say, of course, so don't take him seriously. Don't organized to do anything to him because he's this way. But his enemies said oh, he's all right as to his mind, but he's full of the devil, and it is by the power of the devil that he is casting out devils. And Jesus hearing this said, "You do not talk as men who have much sense. A house divided against itself cannot stand. If you say that I am casting out devils by the power of the devil, you will commit the sin unpardonable because it is against the spirit of truth. And after a while, the price you pay will be this. Deep at the frontal center of your own ethical awareness, you will not be able to tell the difference between right and wrong." And this is the moral penalty for lying, for instance. You know, you lie-- that if some people lie, and lie, and there comes a time when you don't know whether you're lying or telling the truth. The whole ground of your ethical awareness begins to disintegrate. Now, three questions that I'd like you to take home with you tonight. With what we've been thinking about as a background, how do you answer the question, who are you? What is your real name? The name that you call yourself when you are the listener. What you seem to yourself to be when you are stripped to whatever there is in you that is literal and irreducible. How do you look to you then? What is your name? Now, the second, what do you want? Not what you think you ought to think that you ought to want, not what has been projected on you as the ideal thing for you, the son or the daughter of so, and so, and so to want. Not what has been projected on you because of your race, or your religion, or your culture that automatically, if this definition applies to you, this is what you ought to want. I'm not talking about that. But what do you want, really? So that if in one swirling moment, the great creator of existence offered you that gift, what would you tell him you wanted? And the third question, how do you propose to get it? And I want you to think very carefully for just another two or three minutes. Are you willing on behalf of this deep frontal proposal of your spirit to life that this is what I want out of my own sense of self. And since I am the most crucial person in the world to me, if this is what I want, then in order to honor that deeply moving desire on my part, it should be open season in terms of what anybody else has. It's all right for me to use people as means to my private ends because as-- well, I started to say as that awkward lady says on television-- whatever it is she's advertising, I don't know, but the last terrifying line is, I don't mind spending money, I'm worth it. I don't mind spending money on me, I'm worth it. You may decide, you see, that you are of such significance that the greatest service that any other human being can render to himself is to become a means to your ends. Ends in which you do not permit him to share. 4 �Pitts Theology Library The Howard Thurman Digital Archive Transcription thurman.pitts.emory.edu I cannot say with the apostles that I have fought a good fight, says the poet, but I've fought a hard fight. The fight will always be hard for anyone who undertakes to conquer life with the simple tools that I have used. For be my success great or small, it has not been won by a single act of exploitation. No man may look me in the face and say I ever used him for myself. None may say that I have called him my friend that I might make him do for me the work of a servant. Pitts Theology Library Emory University What is your proposal to life, to God as to the method you are willing to use in order to fulfill, for you, what is a legitimate demand? How dare any of us ask any one of us to sacrifice himself or herself to meet our private demands. Heir of the kingdom meets the skies, often he falls, yet falls to rise. Stumbling, bleeding, beaten back, holding still to the upward track, play his part in creations plan. God-like in image, this is man. This is man. 5 � Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource The Search for Meaning (1975, Second Christian Church, Indianapolis, IN) Description An account of the resource In this series about the Search for Meaning, Thurman discusses approaches to finding meaning in things to which we choose to devote our lives and energy through the experiences of self, freedom, and love. Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 1975 Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource Descriptions by ShaCarolyn Halyard AudioWithTranscription Audio that is shown through the 3Play Media embedded interactive transcript Audio with Transcription <iframe width="100%" height="820" frameborder="0" src="/files/players/394-274_B.html" ></iframe> Internal Notes Notes for project team Not sure about exact location - GL 5/14/19 Time Period The decade in which the recording was produced. 1970s Original Title Title as transcribed from tape cassette The Search for Meaning in the Experience of the Self (II) (Indianapolis), 1975 Nov 3 Location The location of the interview, speech, lecture, or sermon Second Christian Church, Indianapolis, Indiana Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context 394-274_B Creator An entity primarily responsible for making the resource Thurman, Howard Title A name given to the resource The Search for Meaning in the Experience of the Self (II), 1975 November 3 Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 1975-11-03 Source A related resource from which the described resource is derived <a href="http://pid.emory.edu/ark:/25593/rp8k9">MSS 394</a> Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource audio Publisher An entity responsible for making the resource available <a href="http://pitts.emory.edu/">Pitts Theology Library, Emory University</a> Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc/4.0/"><img style="border-width:0;" src="https://i.creativecommons.org/l/by-nc/4.0/80x15.png" alt="80x15.png" /></a><br />This work is licensed under a <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc/4.0/">Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 4.0 International License</a>. 2019. Description An account of the resource In this second installment of The Search for Meaning, Howard Thurman uses the demon-possessed man from the synoptic gospels as the framework for this lecture on defining the experience of self. The awareness of self is essential to determining who we are at our core. This includes our personal, spiritual, and ethical awareness. Understanding who we are, what we want, and how we propose to get is critical to outlining and protecting our inner network of values the govern our lives and our decisions. Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource Description by ShaCarolyn Halyard awareness meaning synoptic gospels values